Monday, May 30, 2011

Red Whines: It's Like Being in a Foreign Country

Did you ever get that feeling when you're at a friend's house watching Wheel of Fortune or [Insert Popular Reality TV Show Here] and you're flipping through channels during a commercial, and then you see a show you like and exclaim it and he/she [your friend] proceeds to look at you like an idiot? I've been there.

Sometimes when you are not in the comfort of your own home, it's sometimes difficult to get your message across and to win the right to not feel inferior. Think of it this way, I would much rather watch a Flyers game than watch something on the OWN Network. Then you have to helplessly suffer throughout the time period.

Then you think: Well don't you have something on your phone or laptop in which you can watch the game? Firstly, my dear people, that's rather disrespectful. Sure, you're going to be dying on the inside, but I'm not going to whip my phone out unless if the other person cares just as much. That's like if you're a dude in a movie theater watching the football game on your iPhone while your sitting through a chick flick with your girlfriend that doesn't ask for much from you. That's...just not cool, broski.
Secondly, some people don't have that luxury or capacity to have that stuff. End of story.

In the case of the other person not even understanding the sport, it's 100 times harder to gain understanding and appreciation for what you like. Their first defense is either "it's boring," or "I don't see the big deal about it." Then you nearly blow a gasket because they just completely miss the point and pretty much condescend every ounce of your love and belief. It's like that feeling you get when you're little and find out that Santa doesn't exist. You're like, "mm-mmmm sister (or dude), you don't know what you're missing," and you get into this argument of epic proportions and you turn into this Pentecostal-caliber sporting advocate.

It'd be nice if they'd start asking questions, you know.
When they ask you questions, it's like they're asking you to pretty much spill your guts very prettily all over to try to woo them into your obsession very smoothly. Of course it's like they're putting you on the spot, but in a way, this is like a sport itself; they're trying to knock you off your soapbox with these out-of-left-field questions and you must stay as immovable as the heaviest statue on Earth.
After the hubbub of that, you're thinking that you're reeling them in; they have that light of interest in their face and you hear that music from National Lampoon's Vacation when they're running toward Walley World. You're thinking, "Oh my God, I'm actually gonna win this argument. They're actually going to believe me. I'm going to convert them!" You start feeling the wind in your hair. They pick up the remote...

...and the phone rings.
Your friend goes, "I forget what we were talking about."
After all of that, they don't buy into you anyway.


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