Thursday, August 19, 2010

Father Time – The Chronicles of Brett Favre

FUN FACT: Every time I think of the “Father Time” being, I think of the cartoon “Histeria!” and I have no idea why.

But, aside from cartoons from my childhood past, we’re here to talk about this man:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a blog dedicated to Brett Favre, the man that has been spreading his joy and talents in the NFL since 1991—almost as long as I’ve been alive. Good. Gravy. After talking of retirement countless times, he’s back…again. This time, he won’t be gracing his presence on a different team—he’ll be spending his year with the Minnesota Vikings. The man will be 41 in October, and you don’t really see any guys continuing their football careers into their forties unless if they’re kickers. Bad idea? Well, I’m not him, so I can’t really answer this question for you. I just hope his offensive line holds long enough that he doesn’t get speared and snap in two on the field a la Joe Theismann’s leg.
After being the lord and savior of the Green Bay Packers (FUN FACT: He was with Atlanta before he became infamous in yellow and green) for so many years, everybody thought that he was going to go out as a cheese head. Well, that never happened. He was traded to the Jets, and every football fan that bought Madden NFL 2009 that year was probably angry because he was shown in the Packers uniform instead. During the 2009-2010 season, he went to Minnesota to begin mingling with the Purple People Eaters. Oh, and he went to the playoffs with them too. Now we’re in present day, and we’re still wondering how Favre is still ticking and throwing touchdown passes like he’s still in his mid-20’s. What is it, dude? Wheaties? Steroids? Another quarterback dressed in an aged Brett Favre costume? I don’t get it! Maybe he’s more than what we think he is. Maybe he’s The Natural in football form, and he’s just this big kid who is thankful that he’s still able to do what he loves to do and still be able to do it well.
Of course there are pros and cons and lovers and haters of this subject. Many people believe that he’s well overstayed his welcome in the NFL, others believe that as long as this guy doesn’t show any signs of decline that he should stick around, and team rivals just wish that he would stay the heck away after announcing three times that he’s retiring. He’s already stowed away franchise and league records such as being the “Iron Man” of the NFL, and is the first active grandfather to play in the game.
My view? If he wants to play, let him play. He showed last year that he still has some gas left in the tank and showed that he can still muscle out of a measly little ankle injury. But for the joy of the haters of Brett Favre that read this, he’ll get what’s coming to him through the force of some defensive lines, right? Ha ha. But let’s be practical here—even though he still might have those ankle problems and that he’s a little older now, there may be a huge chance that he’s not going to have a 100% recovery, and that may or may not have an effect on his mindset and his morale. But alas, if you’re a Vikings fan, you need to have a lot of faith in the rest of the team. One can’t rely on just a quarterback, right? But at any rate, Favre’s going to want to go out with a bang (hopefully not literally), and if he wants it in the form of a 20-year career ending in a Super Bowl ring, then let him try it. It won’t be easy of course, but if he wants to give it a shot, let him have it.
I figured I’d also get some outside opinions on this as well. Hey John Madden, what do you think?
“BRETT FAVRE!! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod he’s going to throw for 5,000 yards this season in union with 80 touchdown passes! This guy is the GOD of the National Football League. Get him in the Hall of Fame as soon as he officially retires for the fifth time! Wouldn’t that be considered a record too?? He’s just going to make such a BOOM! HUGE impact!” (Disclaimer: He never said this.)
[Five minutes later: Wait, guys. I’ve been bamboozled. I accidentally got Frank Caliendo impersonating John Madden instead of the real guy. But I remind you, he never really said this.]
In conclusion, the wonder that is Brett Favre is still going to be on television even after all these years. I guess maybe he wanted to make guys like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair jealous that he can still perform well after all these years without having to be gushing blood from the head every five minutes and get put over by young guys. But that whole thing is another day and another opinionated blog post. Until then, GO LONG!