(Events not in any particular order)
NFL HIGHLIGHTS
Brett Favre Makes [Another] Comeback - See previous blog entry on my opinion of it all.
Who Wins at the New Meadowlands? - The Giants win, and Manning pulls it off in blading fashion. I don't like football but I thought the game was actually pretty fun to watch.
Tebow and Roethelisberger Show Promising QB Starts - Too bad one of them isn't starting in that position in the first couple of weeks of the regular season. Oops.
NBA HIGHLIGHTS
Team USA vs. The World - The USA is obviously winning. Big shocker.
Jayson Williams' Misdemeanor Sentence is... - [drum roll] One additional year in the slammer! (crowd cheers) Now you have more of a dark, damp place where you will be met with a flashy orange jumpsuit, more exercise equipment that you can shake a tailfeather at, and many sweaty, friendly jailbirds awaiting your welcome! The actual retail value is more absolute stupidity on your part!
(Side Note: If you don't like the theme I put for this, shame on you. Bob Barker is boss.)
NHL HIGHLIGHTS
Absolutely nothing. No bull.
MLB HIGHLIGHTS
K-Rod Chronicles - Okay, so first he takes a swipe at his father-in-law near the Mets clubhouse, and then he gets escorted out of the building by police, next he gets suspended by the Mets organization for two games, then has to be subjected to counseling, and then notices a problem in his thumb ligament--where he has to get surgery on it and miss the rest of the season. Did I mention that he's currently on the DQ salary list too? I would keep shoveling for you, K-Rod, but you've already made enough of a hee-haw out of yourself. You just made the New York Mets sound like a really, really bad soap opera that needs to get canceled because it's so bad.
Lou Piniella Steps Down...for Good - I'll probably be writing a small, humorous poem about this jolly man. But for now, in short, Godspeed, Big Lou.
The Rocket is Imploding - He's making a bigger hee-haw of himself than K-Rod. Need I explain why? Okay--Clemens clearly took performance enhancing drugs during his tenure in MLB and keeps digging himself in a hole about the whole thing. Why don't we all point fingers at people, Rog? Prolonging the full admittance of your stupidity is really doing you in, man.
SOCCER HIGHLIGHTS
There are some, but I don't think American readers really care. I'll try again soon enough.
ASSORTED SPORTS HIGHLIGHTS
GOLF
Controversy Lurks in the 2010 PGA Championship - I know jack squat about professional golfers, but there was a lot of commotion about the disqualification of Dustin Johnson during the final putts in the tournament. For the first time, I didn't have to hear about Tiger Woods being amazing and Phil Mickelson doing it all for his ill wife. I was pretty shocked. I sort of know certain shots and calls made during the game (Thank you, Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour) and hearing what happened to this poor guy was absolutely ridiculous. Golf fans, I feel bad for you since the golf gods excreted on your sport a little bit this past week.
TENNIS
Serena Sits Out on US Open - After a glass incident and some surgery, she won't be able to hold her title as the favorite of this year's US Open. Hey, what doesn't kill her will make her stronger, right? Although this also means she won't be defending the doubles title with Venus in the near future, this is probably a blessing in disguise for her in some way. Sure, she's upset she can't do it, but maybe something else will open up for her in the coming months.
And that, my friends, is the conclusion of the first Slant on Sunday. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think. If it isn't great, let me know, and I'll try and fix things up or just delete the post altogether. If it's good, again, let me know and I'll see what else I can do to spice this mini-column up.
--AZ
