Monday, May 7, 2012

Red Whines: "Old School" is on Life Support

This post is dedicated to Cole Hamels' utter stupidity.

Alright, you want to make a statement? Are you trying to do something totally illegal and get away with it? 

Okay....just make sure that you play the role.
Somebody obviously didn't get that memo.
Hi, Cole Hamels.

The story began in the first inning of the Phillies/Nationals game on Sunday night. Mister Hamels plunked the angst-y teenager Bryce Harper in the back, attempting to make a statement--what kind of statement, nobody is really sure of at this time. Here's the moment that I'd like to call the "facepalm moment." After the game, Hamels' said this (per

"I was trying to hit him," Hamels said. "I'm not going to deny it. I'm not trying to injure the guy. They're probably not going to like me for it, but I'm not going to say I wasn't trying to do it. I think they understood the message, and they threw it right back. That's the way, and I respect it."


That was one of the quotes where you just wanted to step through the television as soon as you hear the quote and just smack the person silly. Yes, I'm a self-professed Phillies fan, but in a neutral state of mind, I still wanted to beat the living crap out of him for admitting that. Because of his "manliness--"err, stupidity, MLB slammed a five-game suspension on his pretty-boy behind. You know it's bad when the rest of the team has a hard time backing him up and skipper Charlie Manuel admitted that saying that was the absolute dumbest thing possible.

You see, there's that unspoken rule where you just pretend that the ball somehow left your hand and just happened to hit somebody. You accident? That's like me when I play Duck Hunt and just happen to shoot that stupid annoying dog and just explain to everyone around me that I just happen to have terrible aim and hit the dogs instead of the ducks. Anyway, you just don't talk about that stuff, most especially if it's on the record. There's no such thing as being a "tough guy" when it comes to that stuff; you just look like a tool. Yes, I said it. A TOOL.

(This is where the post title kicks in, in case you were wondering.)
He (somewhere in the media) stated something about "bringing back the old school" in what he did. Apparently everybody did that back then. Really? Everybody? I didn't know that Jackie Robinson was still attempting to break the color barrier there, Cole. This is a different age. From what I know, "old school" sports have been in hospice care and on life support since the birth of social networking. Back then, you only really knew what you read in the papers or saw on the television or what you heard on the radio. Now, you don't have that barrier to really cloak the mystery and pure talent that those gentlemen had in years past. Today, I could probably tweet to Jimmy Rollins saying that he's still a fast son-of-a-gun and have him respond back with a "thank you" or something. Twenty years ago, I would just marvel at it and wish to be him. Back in the day, tough guys were tough guys--no questions asked. Today, you hear a lot of "athletes" whine and complain on Twitter over their team or their wives cheating on them (Hey Lito and Jabar, how ya' doin'?) and they just seem like equals, or--if you're classier--completely foolish individuals. This "tough guy" line is blurred, and the "old school" is in this vegetative state that will eventually die when the generations that aren't technologically illiterate die out. Frankly, because we know a lot of the personal lives of athletes, they don't have that mysterious allure to them that the "old school" had. Believe me, I would love to see the old school ways come back, but it's never going to happen. People are a little too public in this global village nowadays.

In my view, there is nothing "old school" about purposely hitting someone. In fact, it's classless and it makes the team (let alone the city) look worse than it actually is. This could actually be the reason why all national broadcasters hate the city of Philadelphia to begin with. One little thing can really screw things up for a team/city/franchise. And "making a statement" like that will put that extra nail in the coffin. That's not cool, guys. It really isn't.
In conclusion, Cole Hamels wasn't exactly smart about this, and now he's paying the price for his stupidity. Hopefully this teaches all of the idiots out there a lesson to keep their mouths shut, yes?