"A BRAND NEW CA-- ...Cliff Lee!"
(Awesome 'The Price is Right' music is played here.)
Okay, so our lovely item here is a 2008 AL Cy Young award winner who went from Cleveland [Rocks] to Philadelphia in a mid-season trade last year and literally tore it up in the 2009 Postseason.
Then Philadelphia went back to pursuing Roy Halladay just like George W. Bush went back after Osama bin Laden while being sidetracked by Saddam Hussein. In December, the trade was made, and my dearest 'Cliffie' was gone to the Mariners. Since then, Roy has been a god on the mound, and the Phillies give him no run support. Good trade?
Well, the Mariners don't think so anymore. They're looking to beef up their team in order to get that run support that their starting rotation needs. It's tradin' season, and the Mariners are looking to put this man's blood on the market. Just their luck, a lot of sharks are circling this one, and they are all willing to fight to the death for him.
A lot of teams have already shown interest in him, including the LA Dodgers, the Minnesota Twins, the New York Yankees and Mets, and of course, the Phillies--the guys who originally ditched him. Certain teams are willing to dish out massive cash for him, others are willing to give some of their starters up to get him.
IT'S LIKE A FREAKING CATTLE AUCTION.
Who will get him? From the looks of things, the Twins are looking mighty pretty to Lee, and the Mets are coming in a close second. It would take a Christmas miracle for the Phillies to get him back (or it could take Jayson Werth, for that matter). Seeing him in a Twins uniform could most likely make the AL Central mad--or even jealous if you're a Wahoos fan. However, their pitching is faltering, and getting him could be the best medicine for the Twins--even the Mets. But let's be honest, I wouldn't want to see that because A - I'd be torn, and B - I'd be prejudiced against the Mets even more because I live in Philadelphia and it's almost my job to show a bit of hatred toward New York sports.
Anyway, that's it for me. I'll have to see who else is on the market. I bet Johnny Olson could help me out on the next one.
"You bet I could, AZ!"
(NOTE: He never said this. He's actually dead.)
--AZ
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