What We Can Learn from Sports Stupidity

No, I haven't neglected the blog. I've been researching the field. Yeah. That.

Several issues that have plagued the sports world over the past month have included the numerous team issues that have been eating the Los Angeles Lakers alive, and the fact that there still isn't any hockey yet. I, along with many other people in the U.S. (and Canada), hate the latter. Despite this, do not fret, my dear people! I would think that all of this should be taken as a learning experience, right? Think about it; every time we screw up, we try to make it into a learning experience so we do better next time. Why don't we take stuff that we're familiar with--these two debacles--and make them into learning experiences for ourselves? Sure, we might not have nearly as much money as these people, but we can at least put them into layman's terms.

Let's open up our texts to the book of AnimaniacZero, chapter 11, numbers 1-5...

NUMBER ONE.

It could always be worse.

Let's just get this out of the way right now. We're all thinking that it is that kind of worse for NHL fans, but as it stands, let's just be thankful they're still negotiating. Of course, a big chunk of the season is lost along with the boatloads of revenue that would stem from the games now lost is a big hit. However, we need to practice some positive psychology in the fact that there is still a league and they still want a season. It may not happen this year, but we can at least hope for a stronger CBA (and maybe a wiser person unlike Gary Bettman). Believe me, it sucks, but um...there's YouTube, and Dailymotion, and all that other stuff! Relive the dream years! Yeah! That's the spirit! It's not new, but it's positive! Go forth and be happy people!
In the case of the Lakers... you could be the Philadelphia Eagles right now. Yes, hometown, I'm going there. You could have named yourselves a "dream team," (wait, you might have done that in some way), lost a boatload a games (which you have), fired a lot of people (I see a trend here), but is your whole season in doubt?? NO. I don't think you guys are on pace to be this year's Charlotte Bobcats. There is enough time in the season for chemistry working and soul searching among teammates. Why are you so worried? It could always be worse.

NUMBER TWO.

Do not bite the hand that feeds you.

I believe Bill Cosby as Cliff Huxtable said it best: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!" C'mon people, we know how the media works. They can spin you around so much to the point where they can make you Superman or they can make you Satan. Mr. Kobe Bryant, sir, you do not tell the media to shut up; you have to keep the people engaged in what is going on with you, otherwise, we will shut up and not care about you anymore. Am I right about that one? Thou shalt not have a cruddy attitude toward people that shape you. Why? Thou shalt dig a deep hole for oneself, that's why!
In the CBA war, from what it sounds like, it's as if the owners refuse to budge and give enough wiggle room for the players to really accept anything. Owners, these men are your true moneymakers. People pay to see these people, and these athletes (the lower-tier ones at least) deserve a little more of a salary after taxes. We all can't be Oprah Winfrey, guys. We--the fans--are feeding hands too. Don't bite us because you're not getting exactly what you want; we just might hate you a lot and not be willing to dish out as much support. Remember '04 and all of the fans you lost? That could happen again, fellas.

NUMBER THREE.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

C'mon guys, like....yeah. You're making me work too hard these days to find a good topic to write about. Quit quarreling and give me something to write about other than senseless complaining and finger-pointing. It's old stuff, and we all know how we hate hearing things repeated to us millions of times. I understand that this isn't my official job, but I enjoy doing it. Give me something that will make me put down my knitting needles (dead serious) and Devil May Cry HD Collection and make me a happy noodle. I feel like a woman asking a guy to commit here, and believe me, I think we're all at the point where we're bursting at the cranial seams trying to make light of the lousy NHL situation. We're getting through it in our own ways though...yes?

NUMBER FOUR.

There is no number four.

You know how there was always that one typo in the book and everyone in [insert subject] class laughs about it and makes a pointless joke and moves on from it? We can do that about these things someday and tell our kids about it so that when they experience it (hopefully never) they can try to find a way to make an attempt to pity laugh at it and move on somehow.

NUMBER FIVE.

Additional hobbies not including drinking and drugs are always available.

As we sit here and twiddle our thumbs to wait until the smoke clears, we have to find other things outside of the sports realm so we don't try to throw anybody into walls. Like I mentioned earlier, I took up knitting instead of waiting for hockey to come on at nighttime. From what I've learned about sad times, it's best not to dwell on the fact that your team is doing terribly or your favorite sports league is locked out because you're going to get overly depressed and it will snowball into something like this: "Oh man, the LA Lakers are doing so terribly and look at this stupid spare tire on my gut! I'm never eating again--UGH why did I eat that pizza? MY BROTHER IS SO STUPID HE STOLE MY CD--" You see where I'm going with this. Let's not get angry over something that will soon be resolved. We all need periods of rebuilding after stupidity. Let's sit back and take a few breathers before we start throwing things.

I won't lie, I learned a lot from these things. I might think too much about silly things, but if you look at number three, you can honestly see that I've had a dried up well of ideas and this was flopping around the bottom. Then again, sometimes when you talk about these things with people, you almost sound smarter than some of these players and owners. C'mon, you have been at that point. Don't lie. Smile. Armchair analysis might not always work, but it could kill a couple hours with friends, family, and social networking. (ha)

Let's get through this with our learning experiences and get some CHRISTMAS ACTION IN DECEMBER! WHOOO!

--AZ