The Hangover - What Super Bowl Sunday Means to Me

(Written in accordance to today's media day celebrations.)
Super Bowl Sunday.
If it were given a steady date every year, it would have a bigger red ring around it than Tax Return Day. Let's be honest, football is a religion in the United States. Anybody who has a television set will watch the Super Bowl at some point, whether it's in passing, in the case that nothing else is on TV, you are a humongous fan, or it's with two teams you don't even root for.

I also find it a good excuse to pig out on food in front of the telly.

Which brings my point.

I understand that in certain areas of the United States, there are "drinking holidays" such as Tipsy Tuesday, Wasted Wednesday, etc. Super Bowl Sunday is like, the biggest one of them all. People who have no idea at this point who is playing in the Super Bowl will still use this day as an excuse to just go to a bar and let worries dissolve in what some consider a fun kind of way. People also find it a good day to, you know...get the "kiddie train" started. Just look what it did for the population of Louisiana last year.

When it comes to this fateful day, this one word comes to mind:

APOCALYPSE

So anyway, what does this day mean to me?
As I have mentioned in times past, I was never really one to watch football unless if it were a college game or if it were the Super Bowl. Now since I know what's going on in the league, things make a lot more sense. However, we're not talking about what I necessarily think about this topic, nor will I talk about who I think will win (personally, I think the Steelers will somehow win this because they always seem to pull a win out of their hoohahs, but that's besides the point). I'm talking about what I think goes on throughout America--and in some places in Canada--during this time of competition and frenzy.

The closest thing I can compare this topic to is New Year's Eve. It's this big blowout filled with streamers, Dick Clark, champagne, parades, and FOOD. When the ball drops, people go nuts at all different times around the world and party until it's 5 A.M. in their time zone. It's almost the same with football. It's filled with alcohol, parades, legendary announcers not named Joe Buck, and FOOD. When the right events occur during the game, fans go nuts and celebrate until it's about 5 A.M. in their time zone.

Then we have the next day. Offices are ghost towns. You see tumbleweeds even on the snowiest of college campuses. People call out of work. Everyone's hung over and go, "What the f(beep) happened last night? I did what?! No!" Not one person involved in the festivities can function correctly the next morning. It's a known fact; no matter how hard one tries, he or she will be unable to think straight. Also, in the case of the New Year, the season ends here and a new set of stuff begins the day after.  See? The snake bites it's tail in the end. Ha ha. However, I don't think anyone really thinks of eating pork the next day. They do remember to buy their laxatives and pregnancy test strips the next day though.

The funny part coming from all of this would just be the whole feeling of it actually being a holiday. Everyone goes out to shop for wings, chips and dips, pizza, beer, soda, and all of the other party foods. Could we call Super Bowl Sunday the violent little brother of Thanksgiving? I only say violent because it involves a lot of tackles, that's all. God forbid a major snowstorm already hit your town and you're unable to get this stuff before the game. You have nothing but a football jersey, and despite that, you're unable to celebrate "the right way" by pigging out on your reclining chair like you're Al Bundy or something. Ah, the four F's of America: freedom, food, football, and facepaint.

I guess the whole "one and done" part of it is what makes this day so definitive and exciting. Plus, who doesn't like getting entertained by a mix of brutality, halftime shows, and returning legends? One thing's for sure, nobody is going to be able to get away from coverage of this big game until the end of next week. (Unless if there is another wardrobe malfunction or something like that.) I guess this next week will be a hangover that many football fans will all experience and get over in no time flat. No, scratch that--the losing team's fans will experience a hangover that won't end until the first day of training camp. Those fans then proceed to hibernate in their respective man-caves until that day comes.

Some people make exceptions for the end of the NBA, NHL, and upcoming MLB season.

So what does Super Bowl Sunday mean to me? Utter. Chaos.

Stay thirsty, my football friends.

--AZ