Tuesday, July 13, 2010

MLB SLANT FOR 2010 - *Now With All-Star Break Action*

Welcome to my MLB All-Star Break Slant for 2010.....
......In the thiiiiirrrrrd dimension!!!!

Does everyone have their 3D glasses?? No? Okay, you don't need them. I was just kidding about the whole 3D part. I wouldn't want to make your eyes bug out or anything. I think the red background on the blog does that enough.
Anyway, this season has been nothing less than a slobberknocker, and we've seen a lot of changes, upsets, and injuries among other things. Now, without any further ado...

[WARNING: There are no stats mentioned in this thing. This is all merely opinion, as this whole entire blog is, basically.]

American League

East Division: (Order in Win/Loss column as of the All-Star Game)
New York Yankees - There they go again, kicking butt and taking names with their huge names and their huge salaries. Does this surprise me? No. Expect them to make huge trades and pretty much do the same thing they do every year: annoy everyone that lives in Boston or Philadelphia.
Tampa Bay Rays - I like these guys nowadays. I mean, they're not at the top like they were at the end of April, but they're still going at a really nice pace being the second best team in the majors and still keeping an eye on the Yankees. Sure, people are still complaining about the Tropicana Arcade ballpark, but whatever.
Boston Red Sox - Can you tell that this team is injury-plagued? Looking from the outside of all of it, absolutely not. The BoSox are keeping things tight with the two big guys above them, and they don't really show any signs of fatigue yet. I could be speaking too soon though. Just so long as they keep beating the Yankees, I bet all Boston fans will be happy in some way. Remember when I said there was no hope for Big Papi? Well, look at him being all big now and finally winning a Home Run Derby.
Toronto Blue Jays - Once upon a time, this looked like a stellar, hard-hitting team with a decent pitching staff. Now, they just look sad. They have one of the worst batting averages in the league, but they lead the league in home runs. What does that tell you? They're hit or miss.
Baltimore Orioles - Hi, guys. Do you want anything from the store while you're sitting in the basement? A whole new team? Sorry, but I can't buy that for you guys right now. I don't have the money, and clearly, neither do you. Do you want me to bake you an "I'm Sorry" cake?

Central Division: (Order in Win/Loss column as of the All-Star Game)
Chicago White Sox - Hey, hey! You guys look much better this time around! Considering that you won your little yearly series against your Cubbie neighbors, your chances of making to postseason actually look nice this year. One question though: can you make Mark Buerhle a little more intimidating? His record and ERA don't look that great right now, and I bet it's from you guys relying on him a bit too much once you hit a bump in the road.
Detroit Tigers - Dun dun dunnnnnnn. This race to the top is really really close too. Something tells me these guys are gonna land out on top since they've been sitting in second so much this year. Whadyasay, Motor City Hockeytown Naysayers?? I do notice a bit of a trend with this division. You guys don't score a whole bunch of runs. Do you like giving people heart attacks as ballpark promotions?
Minnesota Twins - Don't get me wrong, you guys are still really good, but what's with the losing skid? Did we catch the slump bug? It looks like you got a little too comfortable in interleague play and then forgot which division you were in after a while. Hey Joe Mauer, keep squatting in style.
Kansas City Royals - Hmmmm....yeahhhh, I was right about you guys. It doesn't really look good for you at this point unless if you go on a late summer tear through the beefier teams in the league. I'm taking that we're having some bullpen issues, yes? This is what the trade season is for. Look into it. You won't be sorry.
Cleveland Indians - I swear to God it's just Manny Acta being Manny Acta with his Manny Acta suckage stench spreading all over the clubhouse. Believe me, you're trying, but sometimes a bit too hard. I almost feel bad because I look at your roster and go, "Hey, you were good at one point," or, "Hey, you were involved in the Cliff Lee trade," and then realize that you're suffering. Poor boys.

West Division: (Order in Win/Loss column as of the All-Star Game)
Texas Rangers - Go go Texas Rangers, duhh-nuhh-nuhh-nuh-nuh. There I go again trying to put "Texas" where "Power" should be. Who cares? It fits at this point. You're at the top now, and I feel lousy for saying that you were going down the same path the Florida Marlins usually go down when they have a lot of young guys. Josh Hamilton, I admire your work. No lie. PS - I hope you guys like Cliff Lee.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - LAAA!! There we go! We're looking better now! After nearly crashing and burning in May, you look a lot healthier and a lot angrier. I like grit in a team, now go chew some heads off. I like the way your pitching is going, but I'd like to see more versatility at the plate...the batting averages need to go up a tad bit higher, mmkay?
Oakland Athletics - You have no idea how excited I was for you guys. Was it interleague play? Is it your age/experience? You win good games and then get blown out three days later. Consistency is key, my friends. "Reagan sleepy."
Seattle Mariners - Oh, hey! I remember you guys... I had high hopes for you too. I mean, you totally bombed in May, and since then you've been trying to pick up the pieces. It only seems like certain guys are carrying the team anymore. I wish you the best from here on out.

National League

East Division: (Order in Win/Loss column as of the All-Star Game)
Atlanta Braves - Whooaaaaaa, worst to first since April. These sleeping giants were awakened and came back with a vengeance. The pitching looks a lot better, and the offense keeps getting better and better. Turner Field is definitely the bane of a lot of teams that so happen to go in there expecting a win. Jason Heyward is definitely still in the running for Rookie of the Year. Hopefully he comes back for that injury, right?
New York Mets - So far, their revenge on the Phillies is going well so far. Even though they're only a half game ahead, their home record is keeping their hopes alive for Wild Card contention. The offense is doing quite well, but there have been some erratic plays in the infield as of late.
Philadelphia Phillies - This, my friends, is what happens when you get plagued with injuries. With injuries to Rollins, Polanco, and Utley throughout the season, there's been a lot of hair pullin' in Philly. Much to all fangirls' dismay, Jayson "Edge" Werth is going on the market if a juicy looking player becomes available for trading.
Florida Marlins - I feel bad for these guys. This team always has promise, and at times both the offense and defense/pitching just doesn't gel together. Do you think that's why Fredi Gonzalez was fired? Their pitching staff, led by ace Josh Johnson, looks great on paper, but I guess when you face decent pitching on the other side, it doesn't always work out. Hey Hanley, I hope the Derby didn't mess up your swing, son.
Washington Nationals - Well, they were up there for a little while, and then they just deflated. Even after Stephen Strasburg's call-up, the Nats still don't supply the proper runs support for a good outing. I would rant about why Strasburg is overrated in particular aspects, but that's another day and another blog entry. Pudge and Zimmerman are still kicking more butt than ever, on the other hand.

Central Division: (Order in Win/Loss column as of the All-Star Game)
Cincinnati Reds - Dusty Baker, what did you feed these guys? After mastering the excellence of bullpen pitching and stellar power hitting that leads the NL in batting average, we have a balanced team. Regardless of how old he is, Scott Rolen is still an excellent third baseman, and I absolutely love the power-throwing outfield. I just feel bad that the Phillies screwed them over in three straight extra inning games this past weekend. D'oh! Oh, and hi, Mike Leake...you're definitely a contender for NL ROY.
St. Louis Cardinals - These guys are still hanging by a thread. Pujols and Holliday are still rocking out in the 3-4 slots, and despite a few injury problems, they're still staying in contention.
Milwaukee Brewers - These guys are doing a lot better since their massive lack of everything issue back in April. Their month of June was absolutely hot, and although they crashed and burned coming into the All-Star break, here's to hoping that they relive June again. Prince Fielder certainly hopes so.
Chicago Cubs - Ouch, darn that Billy Goat. Interleague play didn't look so great, did it? Carlos Silva's pitching looks absolutely great, and despite the breakdown of a lot of players (cough cough Carlos Zambrano cough cough), there's still hope for these guys. I'm pulling for you! I really am!
Houston Astros - Well, you don't look as pitiful as you did in the beginning, which is a good sign, I guess. However, and I mean however, your team batting average is near the bottom, and I think we're gonna have to work on that. Are we having little problems in the clubhouse or little kinks in muscles?
Pittsburgh Pirates - Awww, sorry guys. I'm glad to see that you're getting a strong fanbase despite your misfortunes in overall batting average and in pitching ERA. You still aren't out of the woods yet. You have big enough names in your lineup that you can still make it out of the hole by the end of the season.

West Division: (Order in Win/Loss column as of the All-Star Game)
San Diego Padres - Bud Black, what did you feed these guys?? I remember when the pitching staff couldn't get half decent outings last year, and look at what you're doing! You're pitching is tops in the NL in ERA, and that's enough to salvage your sub-par team batting average. What's up, Adrian? Are we relying too much on pitching? You guys will be even better once your offense starts waking up enough to look more intimidating.
Colorado Rockies - It's UBALDOMANIA!! However, I can't stress enough that your excellent hitting doesn't kick in when you have your good pitcher in. Your lineup rocks, guys. Can it work inside of 'Baldy's starts? You're all known to get hot in the second half, so I know this will be a stellar fight to the finish and you'll come out on top in the division or the wild card.
Los Angeles Dodgers - Ugh. I hate it when this happens. You have a great offense, but your pitching lacks some of the time. The LADs definitely love to hit as most of the games which they win contain more than a 5-spot. I love the top three in the NL West. The top teams in the National League looks so tight this year, and I love it.
San Francisco Giants - This is what happens when you guys are great, but don't work together as far as good pitching days and good hitting days altogether. When you come up strong, you lose tough games afterward. With power guys like Panda and your new Pat Burrell action figure, I expect you guys to heat up and make things more interesting as the summer season heats up.
Arizona Diamondbacks - What can I say? It's the pitching. Oh, who am I kidding? It's sometimes the hitting too. You're in the basement in ERA and close to the bottom in team batting average. I guess firing AJ Hinch wasn't enough. Three managers in less than two whole seasons. There's always next year, right?

Well, that about does it for the slant at the halfway point. Expect the third and final installment before the 2010 Postseason finally begins. Who will make it this year? Hard to say. The top three slots in each division are very tight and it's anyone's shot this year. I like the chances of a lot of teams. I know, I'm indecisive. Deal with it.


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