Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Lord Stanley's Cup...More Like a Big Metal Pillar with a Tiny Metal Bowl on Top

Don't lie. That's EXACTLY what it looks like.
So uh, that sport that toothless (some brain-damaged) guys with some form of Canadian history in their blood play is nearing the end as two teams will be duking it out on Saturday to determine who gets the Big Metal Pillar with a Tiny Metal Bowl on Top--otherwise known as the Stanley Cup.
Ah, Chicago and Philadelphia.
The Broad Street Bullies vs. Tommy Hawk
Windy City vs. City of Brotherly Love [ew]
Deep-dish pizza vs. Cheesesteaks [I have to mention that both meet halfway with PIEROGI. OM NOM NOM]
Patti LaBelle vs. Jennifer Hudson, I went off topic.

ANYWAY, these two teams will be going head-to-head after some harsh times and some epic series (well, on the Eastern Conference Side, at least).

Chicago, after being deemed the worst sports franchise in 2004 (talk about tag-teaming with the Curse of the Billy Goat...), has made it back to earn their first Stanley Cup since the 1960-61 season. After flying high near the top practically the whole season, they finished off the [choking] San Jose Sharks to prove who was really tops in the Western Conference. Twin killers Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews are nearly tops against all 2010 postseason contenders in points, and why isn't that surprising? From what I remember, Mr. Kane was a huge part in the US Men's silver medal run in Vancouver, and Mr. Toews was also a huge part in Team Canada's gold medal run. Both were also the top goal scorers on the team and practically tops in assists. What does that mean? They're practically these guys without the head-bashing:

Yeah, I went there. I freakin' love these movies to begin with.

Philadelphia went through hell in a handbasket and somehow got thrown upward into the haven of the Stanley Cup finals. At this point, a lot of people are asking "How did they get here? Didn't they suck or something?" Yes kids, they did. Really bad. Then they fired their head coach John Stevens around Christmastime due to the huge amounts of sucking and hired Peter Laviolette to help save the team. Seriously, some of these guys played like typical college jocks and took nothing seriously. That all changed before the Winter Classic. Oh yeah, and the Flyers used a grand total of 7 goalies this season--some of them only playing one game. Fun, right? During their postseason run, they had taken down the rival NJ Devils in five games, came back from a 0-3 deficit to the Boston Bruins in epic fashion, and then shunned the Montreal Canadiens who had all the momentum from knocking out the top-seeded [and highly favored] Washington Capitals and the '09 Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins. Insane postseason. Yes.

All in all, these are the guys I'm looking out for during the Finals:
--Antii Niemi - I watched him during the Western Conference finals, and good God, how can he pull a full-out split, and I can't? C'mon!! If the Flyers want to score against this guy, they need to be pulling out all the stops and absolutely flush 'n fool.
--Michael Leighton - After Brian Boucher went down during the series against the Boston Bruins, Philadelphia has utmost faith in this nth-string goalie. After pulling three shutouts in four wins against the Habs, the momentum is riding with him.
--The Bash Brothers - See above.
-- Daniel Briere - Leading the Flyers in postseason goals, he's been leading hard rushes against all opposition
--Mike Richards - They're calling him the new-age Bobby Clarke. Not much more to say here.

Who do I think will win? Whomever wants it more. The Blackhawks have waited nearly 50 years, the Flyers have been waiting 35. To prevent bias, I call Chicago for the win.

[You know, some people don't like the parades on Broad Street.]


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