And now, for my next trick, I'm going to make mention of things that show off some "mad skills, yo." One of which had disappeared many years ago, but due to the magic of writing, I'm bringing it back. You're welcome.
Hey now, you're an All-Star.
As that right hook from the 90's sent you flying, I took the time to do a little bit of research.
We all know how All-Star Games function. There's one for each of the Big Four (and one for MLS, but some people don't think it counts), and they're often made to be a huge weekend spectacle--unless you're Major League Baseball, when you think Tuesday is the most brilliant day of the week to broadcast a game like this. In any case, there are usually events that precede each All-Star game, and there is a load of pomp and circumstance flying all around the area for them. Some of them involve sporting legends and celebrities (even veterans of the American military), and some involve conventions and meet and greets. However, I'm not going to be getting into that crazy business. I'm going to talk about the realm of talent. That's right--I'm talking about skills competitions.
The first instance of a skills competition occurred in the American Basketball Association (ABA) in 1976 with the Slam Dunk Contest, which was won by "Dr. J" Julius Erving. Other skills competitions came about much later on; the NBA began a Three-Point Contest in their 1985 season (won by Larry Bird), with Major League Baseball beginning their annual Home Run Derby in the same year (won by Cal Ripken Jr.). Each league has grown in hosting celebrity events and other assorted skills competitions except for the NFL, which had stopped their Pro Bowl Skills Competition after 2007. That said, I guess you could really call them the No Fun League, eh?
(Fun Fact: The ABA merged into the NBA after the 1976 season.)
[Side Note: I just named three legends in the paragraph above. I'm pretty sure this means that these events aren't a load of garbage. But let's move forward, shall we?]
During my Valentine's evening of eating pizza, playing Injustice: Ultimate Edition, and watching Alfred Hitchcock, I got to thinking... Why do these events even exist? What in the world are they proving? These guys make enough money as it is--why do they have to show off?
If you peel away at the concept like an onion, these skill competitions actually break the sport down even further. Simply put, these events are even more difficult variations of practice drills or endurance sessions. For example, during the skills competition before the NHL All-Star Game, a lot of it relies on speed, agility, and handling. For many, the grace of ice skating does not come easy at all. To see these men display their speed while handling their stick and a puck speaks volumes on how skillful these athletes are. In basketball, focus is key, especially in the area of shooting. In baseball, it is about timing and efficient movement (strength is a gimme).
Skill competitions add more dimensions to a player who can only show just a limited amount of skill in-game. For example, you're not going to be able to see Steph Curry nailing three-pointer after three-pointer due to the fact that he's going to have really tall guys attempting to block him. Shooting from the arc isn't the easiest thing in the world to begin with, and to be consistent and accurate at that is a talent whether you like it or not. Also, you wouldn't be able to see a guy like Josh Hamilton hammer 28 home runs in a short amount of time [and later blow it to Justin Morneau in the end] in a regular game, because it would break the rules of the game. You have a time and a place to express yourself.
Is it really showing off? It comes down to perception. It shows that abilities of athletes may know no bounds, that is for certain; however, it could be seen as an "I'm better than you, and I'm going to rub it in your face for the next two hours plus advertising space." Events like this are entertaining spectacles, sure, and some of these guys are extremely humble in these competitions. They're seen as events where "rookies and sophomores" can look ahead to veterans and pick their brains if they aren't on the same team. It's an effective brain-stew convention of sorts, don't you see? It isn't about the showing-off, it's the humility and the learning experiences that one can gain from watching athletes display their talent in a particular spot of the sport.
--
I'd like to bring up an interesting question: Do the skills competitions help or hinder the All-Star Game that succeeds it on the following day?
I hate to do this, but in my own opinion, the answer is yes and no. Yes, because when the skills competition actually existed for the NFL, people tended to watch (and frankly, care more about) the Pro Bowl the following day. No, because sometimes people don't truly care about who is playing in the game, and might just care about the competitions themselves. An example of this is the Home Run Derby; people might pay more attention to who is in the competition, and totally not care about the other guys playing in the game the following night. The gray area falls upon the NBA and NHL, where fans are more likely to watch both. Then again, it also helps that these events take place on weekends, where Major League Baseball chooses the middle of the mother-flipping week to do this stuff. I digress.
--
In conclusion, skill competitions are a good breakdown of the sport, and you get to see the very best surgically dissect each aspect of a trait and add more passion and flair to it. Those who are bound for greatness should be able to set a high bar, and that bar will empower boys, girls, men, and women to kick that bar off of the rungs and place it even higher. Sure, it could be a bit much at times, but this could also be a way for them to unwind and have even more fun outside of the game itself.
If you're playing a professional sport, you already have "mad skills" to begin with. Share it.
--AZ
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Deflated Egos
Now, now. I had to come up with a creative title for this
one, and I came up with this. It isn’t great, but what I’ve got below should
make up for it. Hopefully.
We know who is playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday. We have
the Seattle Seahawks, who are looking for a repeat in Super Bowl wins, and the
New England Patriots, who have had their noses in the playoffs for more than a
decade. Here’s the kicker: I’m not writing about the game. I’m writing about
everything BUT the game. You should have expected this by now.
We seriously haven’t been able to enjoy the pomp and
circumstance of the biggest American football game of the year. Why is that,
you ask? Because we need stupid stuff to talk about before the game actually
happens, and we also need ridiculous accusations for us to sit on that will
probably ruin the whole idea of us enjoying the game on Sunday. During the AFC Championship slaughter between the Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts two weeks ago, everyone seemed to scratch their heads as to why Tom Brady was getting all of the breaks, while Colts' QB Andrew Luck wasn't getting any...luck. Yeah. I walked into that. Anyway, The game went off without a sore hitch, and within 48 hours of the completion of the game, reports came out that Colts players were suspicious about the overall air pressure of the footballs. Allegedly, 11 of the 12 game balls used during the AFC Championship were not inflated to regulation levels, and it was noticed by D'Qwell Jackson after intercepting one of Brady's passes in the second quarter of the game.
(Charlton Heston not included.)
Did they have this up their sleeves the whole time? Did they do this against Baltimore too? Remember how I said 11 of the 12 balls above? That might not even be the correct amount. With every ounce of research I've done, numbers have changed, science was tampered with--not everyone should be allowed to "science," because it's dangerous work--and opinions have been thrown in left and right. Maybe people have been using excerpts of head coach Bill Belichick's press conference held earlier in the week. What my favorite part about that is that journalists are analyzing every sentence of his like it's the Bible. Because we need three more weeks of stories following the Super Bowl...am I right?
Because I am a child of the 90's, and I feel like it's quite appropriate, Bill Nye has to really break down this science for you. I'm more than certain that you'll be singing the theme song from his show after this. Check this out.
Many people have held press conferences and members of the Patriots' staff have been interrogated; however, the biggest surprise is that Tom Brady has not yet sat down to be formally interrogated. In fact, he won't have to deal with it until Monday morning at the earliest. That alone has gotten fans upset, feeling as if the NFL is going about this unfairly. However, in his defense, they probably don't want to affect him in any way before "The Big Game."
(If I were him, I'd actually want to get that done before the game. But I'm not him, so there.)
I seriously feel like this is some kind of serial drama, and
that there is a dark room where there are a bunch of dark-suited misers writing
scripts and fixing this stuff up. It's like a WWE Creative staff virus or something. I'm waiting for Vince McMahon to come flopping out and fire somebody.
I’m going to bring up an example of this "serial drama," being that it is Oscar
season, and my example was a nominee for Best Picture. The film “Quiz Show” was
based on the controversies surrounding the game show “Twenty One” in the mid-1950’s,
and how most game shows at the time were accused of rigging the results of the
show to prevent loss of viewership, among other things. This isn't the first time the Patriots have been accused of shady things. Ten years ago, during their Super Bowl XXXIX game (and eventual win) against the Philadelphia Eagles, they were accused of cheating via "Spygate," where they had allegedly videotaped the Eagles' defensive calls. Now, ten years later, we're dealing with another issue, and if that's going to make an impact on Sunday's game remains to be seen. Whether these things are rigged for the sake of betting, none of us know, and it isn't the best idea to get ourselves into it. People have died over betting.
Because this is being treated as a serious offense, strict sanctions may be placed on the team in ways of fines, suspensions, and probable bans. But the thing is, with a situation like this, you can't point a finger at one particular thing. This isn't like Bounty Gate, where there were specific players involved and the coach was in on it. It's not like you can slap a staff member on the wrist, or put the footballs in Pigskin Court and sentence them to the chain gang. Punishments are going to be awkward, and they have to be handled properly. The Patriots won't get out of this with a simple shake of the finger, that is for certain by now.
Whether we like it or not, we're going to be hearing about this for a very long time. The game literally means nothing right now, and only the stories behind the game are getting weight. So now...prepare for the ultimate hair-pulling when any mentions of footballs and air pressure come up. Then again, we could always quote Mr. Beast Mode with "I'm just here so I won't get fined," and talk about how they're bringing up supposed uses of Adderall on the Seahawks team. We always need crap to fill the spaces, don't we?
Be responsible out there.
--AZ
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
"I'm Your Biggest Fan! And You Are Mine!"
Believe it or not, I didn't get the idea for this piece because of New Jersey governor Chris Christie and his obvious love for the Dallas Cowboys. These are one of those kinds of pieces where it got stuck in my head for three months and swam around in a corner. It's a blessing in disguise. I think it's time to fry this fish of an idea.
Jack Nicholson. George W. Bush. Steve Perry. Paul Rudd. Bradley Cooper. The list of celebrities (a term which I will use very loosely throughout this piece) and big-named figures can go on and on. Just because these guys call either the stage or the movie screen their home, they're still human. And because they're human, they must have some sort of interests, right? Some people are a lot more louder than others, of course, but I digress. But lately, you're seeing a lot more focus on some of the star power that have local roots and a giant love for their hometown teams.
Some of those guys have been around for a very long time, such as Jack Nicholson, who practically has his own seat in the front row at the Staples Center. Guys like him are such a staple (no pun intended) that they're hardly given much notice because of their infamous love for the team. The same would apply to George W. Bush, who has a near-permanent seat along the backstop for the Texas Rangers' games in Arlington. [FYI: The baseball stadium is now known as Globe Life Park in Arlington. They've changed their stadium name almost as much as where the Miami Dolphins play, which has been Sun Life Stadium since 2010.]
Outside of these notables, you don't get to see the big names on screen until a team makes the playoffs, or has a really good run and may do so. During the 2014 MLB Postseason, the country saw a celebrity face of the Kansas City Royals in actor Paul Rudd. Opposing him? Only the former (and best known) frontman of the rock band Journey, Steve Perry, who is a huge fan of the San Francisco Giants. In fact, he actually came out of the shadows during the Giants' World Series run in 2010 after hearing everyone sing "Lights" and "Don't Stop Believin'" and he hasn't left their lights ever since.
Recently, we saw a new, and somewhat controversial fan revelation. During the Sunday afternoon flag pickup spectacular between the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions, America saw New Jersey governor Chris Christie rooting for the Cowboys and later hugging owner Jerry Jones after the Cowboys win (picture above). It wasn't exactly the first time we saw this, as Christie was rooting for them during a Monday night game in nearby Philadelphia where the Cowboys faced the Eagles two weeks prior. Granted, to someone like me, it isn't a big deal on who he roots for, but it is a big problem for other people when the state he govern hosts two teams in the Giants and Jets, and he's right next door to Eagles fans (although, technically, there are some regions of South Jersey that can count as Philly Part 2). It's also an even bigger problem when his brother also goes on Facebook and mocks Eagles fans, but this post isn't about that guy. Who is he, anyway? Never mind.
Why do we obsess and gloat over these things? Granted, it was super attractive to see Bradley Cooper wear his hometown team's colors in the 2012 film Silver Linings Playbook, but why else do we get overly excited when we see a celebrity rooting for a team? To be honest, there are times in which I absolutely cannot stand seeing the cameras cut to an actor or a singer watching/enjoying a game. For now, they are among us. Yes, they're titans in whatever they do, but this is a form of them unwinding. Good Lord. They don't want to be on camera for a little while. Chillax, yo. But this is something we can definitely ask ourselves. Why? Does it give us more of a reason to stick with our teams through thick and thin because they are? Possibly. What a better cheerleader than someone who we may look up to and admire to tell us to keep going? Sometimes, it'll make you feel like somebody, like the city has a spokesperson that delivers some outside-of-sports credibility.
On the other hand, some people just might not care. It's just like: "Oh, there's so-and-so sitting there in their expensive seats. Who cares?" It could just be publicity that is the furthest thing from necessary. Like I mentioned above, some celebrities aren't even given a gander anymore because of their frequent sightings at games and their inability to "go away," as it were. That, or the common fan says: "Okay, that's enough of you. Shut up and sit down." It's like the more that apathy exists, the more these instances of celebrity sightings at games gets increasingly annoying, because people don't ask why they're shown constantly on our televisions.
It isn't a terrible thing to see big names cheer on equally as big names. Why? It shows a different dimension to people we're used to seeing perform another job or another task. It shows how multidimensional we can be. It's like knowing that professional athletes might play Dungeons & Dragons and be really good at it. It's knowing little things like that that doesn't make us seem so weird anymore. It's okay to like sports and do something completely different on the side. Like I've said before, sports brings everyone together. It might show a side that we're not used to or not ready for, but it's still a great start, right?
--AZ
(So, since I mentioned Bradley Cooper in this piece, I'm doing this. We're both Phillies fans. Who wears the Phillies shirt better? Me? Or him? That's okay...you can say that he wears it best. I wouldn't be mad.)
Jack Nicholson. George W. Bush. Steve Perry. Paul Rudd. Bradley Cooper. The list of celebrities (a term which I will use very loosely throughout this piece) and big-named figures can go on and on. Just because these guys call either the stage or the movie screen their home, they're still human. And because they're human, they must have some sort of interests, right? Some people are a lot more louder than others, of course, but I digress. But lately, you're seeing a lot more focus on some of the star power that have local roots and a giant love for their hometown teams.
Some of those guys have been around for a very long time, such as Jack Nicholson, who practically has his own seat in the front row at the Staples Center. Guys like him are such a staple (no pun intended) that they're hardly given much notice because of their infamous love for the team. The same would apply to George W. Bush, who has a near-permanent seat along the backstop for the Texas Rangers' games in Arlington. [FYI: The baseball stadium is now known as Globe Life Park in Arlington. They've changed their stadium name almost as much as where the Miami Dolphins play, which has been Sun Life Stadium since 2010.]
Outside of these notables, you don't get to see the big names on screen until a team makes the playoffs, or has a really good run and may do so. During the 2014 MLB Postseason, the country saw a celebrity face of the Kansas City Royals in actor Paul Rudd. Opposing him? Only the former (and best known) frontman of the rock band Journey, Steve Perry, who is a huge fan of the San Francisco Giants. In fact, he actually came out of the shadows during the Giants' World Series run in 2010 after hearing everyone sing "Lights" and "Don't Stop Believin'" and he hasn't left their lights ever since.
 |
| The hug shown 'round the country. (Photo from CBSSports.com) |
Recently, we saw a new, and somewhat controversial fan revelation. During the Sunday afternoon flag pickup spectacular between the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions, America saw New Jersey governor Chris Christie rooting for the Cowboys and later hugging owner Jerry Jones after the Cowboys win (picture above). It wasn't exactly the first time we saw this, as Christie was rooting for them during a Monday night game in nearby Philadelphia where the Cowboys faced the Eagles two weeks prior. Granted, to someone like me, it isn't a big deal on who he roots for, but it is a big problem for other people when the state he govern hosts two teams in the Giants and Jets, and he's right next door to Eagles fans (although, technically, there are some regions of South Jersey that can count as Philly Part 2). It's also an even bigger problem when his brother also goes on Facebook and mocks Eagles fans, but this post isn't about that guy. Who is he, anyway? Never mind.
Why do we obsess and gloat over these things? Granted, it was super attractive to see Bradley Cooper wear his hometown team's colors in the 2012 film Silver Linings Playbook, but why else do we get overly excited when we see a celebrity rooting for a team? To be honest, there are times in which I absolutely cannot stand seeing the cameras cut to an actor or a singer watching/enjoying a game. For now, they are among us. Yes, they're titans in whatever they do, but this is a form of them unwinding. Good Lord. They don't want to be on camera for a little while. Chillax, yo. But this is something we can definitely ask ourselves. Why? Does it give us more of a reason to stick with our teams through thick and thin because they are? Possibly. What a better cheerleader than someone who we may look up to and admire to tell us to keep going? Sometimes, it'll make you feel like somebody, like the city has a spokesperson that delivers some outside-of-sports credibility.
On the other hand, some people just might not care. It's just like: "Oh, there's so-and-so sitting there in their expensive seats. Who cares?" It could just be publicity that is the furthest thing from necessary. Like I mentioned above, some celebrities aren't even given a gander anymore because of their frequent sightings at games and their inability to "go away," as it were. That, or the common fan says: "Okay, that's enough of you. Shut up and sit down." It's like the more that apathy exists, the more these instances of celebrity sightings at games gets increasingly annoying, because people don't ask why they're shown constantly on our televisions.
It isn't a terrible thing to see big names cheer on equally as big names. Why? It shows a different dimension to people we're used to seeing perform another job or another task. It shows how multidimensional we can be. It's like knowing that professional athletes might play Dungeons & Dragons and be really good at it. It's knowing little things like that that doesn't make us seem so weird anymore. It's okay to like sports and do something completely different on the side. Like I've said before, sports brings everyone together. It might show a side that we're not used to or not ready for, but it's still a great start, right?
--AZ
(So, since I mentioned Bradley Cooper in this piece, I'm doing this. We're both Phillies fans. Who wears the Phillies shirt better? Me? Or him? That's okay...you can say that he wears it best. I wouldn't be mad.)
Saturday, January 3, 2015
The NFL Postseason Slant for 2014-2015 - Destination: Immortal
I realize that the month of December was dead here. Don't worry, I still have material left to write. And I bet the players still have material left to play it all out. Plus, I deserve an award for pumping this piece out in about an hour. This usually takes me three because I watch a lot of YouTube. I'm getting better at this stuff, you guys. I'm prioritizing.
After what was one of the most controversial seasons yet, the NFL is finally entering the playoffs, and we're seeing a lot of familiar faces once again.
Grant it, we saw a lot of suspensions, people "partying a bit too hard," and the inevitable "Black Monday" when your smartphone blows up about coaches and other front office personnel getting fired--or in one case, going back to college. Some of these things are what we have come to expect year in and year out; however, the players in which these circumstances have affected is what makes it even more shocking.
Are we ready to go? Let's check out who we're going to be seeing this January in the NFL Playoffs on the road to Super Bowl XLIX.
Admittedly, I've been on the biggest Keith Mansfield kick as of late. His NFL Films stuff is top-notch, and you can see season highlights in your head from the 70's mixing in with today with it. Take it and use it as you would desire.
______
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division - New England Patriots (12-4) - Been there a million times, done that a million times. It goes without saying that the Patriots are always bound to be a threat in the AFC. The Brady-Gronk one-two punch is an infamous offensive force, and the defense has been as strong as ever. It's going to start getting colder at Gillette, so hits will be harder. The best thing to do is protect Brady, and we could see these guys in the Super Bowl once again.
(Destination: Naptime - First Round Bye with Home Advantage)
North Division - Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5) - You know, I honestly didn't think they'd have it in them this year. A team that was once infamous for the run about ten years ago, you're seeing much more action coming from the pocket by Ben Roethlisberger, who is having the season of his career. A James Harrison-led defense is also seeing an awakening as well. While they aren't as consistent, it's still enough to hold off the opposition. Where the team will go will depend on the defense showing up or not.
(Destination: Baltimore Ravens, Saturday 8:15 EST) (Uh Oh...)
South Division - Indianapolis Colts (11-5) - In case you didn't know this by now, Andrew Luck is awesome, and almost everything he touches turns to gold and says: "We don't love Manning here anymore." I know I constantly bring up Peyton here, but knowing that there is another guy with another squad who is playing some absolutely scrappy ball here is a great sign. Plus, the defense and special teams are holding up their end of the bargain here too. Again, the biggest issue here this time around is going to be health and nerves. Now is not the time to choke and go home after one game, you guys.
(Destination: Cincinnati Bengals, Sunday 1:05 EST)
West Division - Denver Broncos (12-4) - Peyton didn't exactly end the season the way he liked--in fact, he was taking a shellacking for a while there. However, the team is still strong enough on all ends to deliver a shellacking of their own. This alone is a sign; it doesn't take one guy to win games, there is no "I" in team. Because of that formula, we're going to see other people come in, especially on the defense, that will step up and surprise the heck out of audiences. The road will be a rocky one, but this isn't anything Denver hasn't seen before.
(Destination: Siesta - First Round Bye)
AFC Wild Card
Oh look... The AFC North is having a huge party and didn't think to invite Johnny Manziel and the Browns. RIMSHOT!
Cincinnati Bengals (10-5-1) - This team may be the biggest worry in the case of a one-and-out in the playoffs. A lot of players are hurt, and most of them are key players on offense. Sure, Jeremy Hill has been a one-man-mafia for the past several weeks and is really making the rush offense look superb, but the rest of the team doesn't look too hot. The defense can hold up the run for the most part, but let's not set the expectations too high here.
(Destination: Indianapolis Colts, Sunday 1:05 EST)
Baltimore Ravens (10-6) - It's funny, but with all of the hubbub going on about other quarterbacks in the NFL, it's almost as if Joe Flacco is flying under the radar and being a silent killer of sorts. He's been strong, the run has been really strong too, and the defense has been really great too, despite all of the controversy that has been surrounding the team and its players since the very beginning of the NFL season. It's like they're being avoided on TV at all costs just to make them look bad. Well, they know about that, and they're out for attention.
(Destination: Pittsburgh Steelers, Saturday 8:15 EST) (Yikes)
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division - Dallas Cowboys (12-4) - This year, the Cowboys are the epitome of the term "taking the ball and running with it." This doesn't mean I'm taking away from the likes of Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, and Jason Witten, who have all been fantastic in their own right this year. The undisputed star of the team this year has been DeMarco Murray, who has been running all over defenses without much of a problem. Knowing that you have an all-out offensive threat from what people still consider to be "America's Team" means that your defense better be healthy for your hot date.
(Destination: Detroit Lions, Sunday 4:40 EST)
North Division - Green Bay Packers (12-4) - Okay, how many of you screamed bloody murder when Rodgers went down in Week 17 prior to a touchdown pass? If you were a Packers fan, you may have done just that. He may be the strongest name and possibly the biggest threat on the team, but don't discount the fact that the defense can pick up the slack and stop the pass when need be. It's almost like the whole entire team gets overshadowed, especially when you're an outsider to it all. Don't let the Aaron Rodgers hype fool you; we have a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing in this town.
(Destination: Couch - First Round Bye)
South Division - Carolina Panthers (7-8-1) - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the "WTF Division," where it is perfectly fine to go to the playoffs with a sub-.500 record. This isn't to say that the Panthers didn't earn their spot, per se. They had a really shaky season in the realm of injury and the like, but former 1st round pick Cam Newton hasn't really lost his touch. Actually, it gets quite annoying when he's referred to as the "next Michael Vick," because he's his own guy. I digress. They will certainly have to play to their strengths from here on out and prove that regular season records mean nothing in the playoffs.
(Destination: Arizona Cardinals, Saturday 4:35 EST)
West Division - Seattle Seahawks (12-4) - People were rather scared about this team at first. You'd hear: "Oh, these guys are returning champs! Things don't look too good for them," throughout the first half of the season. However, with a second half surge and a wake-up from The 12th Man, the boys are back, and they look like just as much of a threat as they have been for the past several years. Wilson and Skittles Lynch are continuing strong, and the defense says there is no such thing as the pass. No, really. This team is disgusting.
(Destination: Pillow and Blanky - First Round Bye with Home Advantage)
NFC Wild Card
Detroit Lions (11-5) - For the past several seasons, the biggest strength of the Lions has been in the defense. However, a thorn in that side of the strength has been health and, well... temper. A previous story stated that Ndamukong Suh was nearly suspended from play after "deliberately" stepping on Aaron Rodgers' leg during a recent game, but Suh's appeal was won. So there... The defense is set. Is the offense? Surprisingly enough, they've been able to hold their own. Shock and momentum and atmosphere is going to be a key for them. Stafford has to stay calm and steady.
(Destination: Dallas Cowboys, Sunday 4:40 EST)
Arizona Cardinals (11-5) - Arizona had a crazy first half run. The defense was nearly unstoppable, and Carson Palmer was working magic wherever he threw. However, the team started to deal with excessive injury, and the wheels nearly fell off. Oh, who am I kidding? They did, but with the way the Division looked, they could easily hobble up to the finish line without looking back for people catching up. There are a lot of questionable players going into their game on Saturday, so expect a kitchen sink thrown from all participants.
(Destination: Carolina Panthers, Saturday 4:35 EST)
_____________________________________________
It looks like 2015 is already off to an insane start for everybody. We won't be out of the woods on this one for a whole month, so buckle up and get ready for some hard hits and late-game theatrics. I wouldn't be surprised to see a couple of upsets along the way, because while there is a lot of star power on certain teams, the atmosphere is going to be completely different, and if you want to be engraved on the wall of immortals in the NFL, you have to throw everything you did in the season out the window. This is a new slate, and there is a new set of tasks to perform.
Because of work scheduling, there won't be any predictions this year for the playoffs except for the NFC and AFC Championships on Tumblr. I hate to say this, but time really crept up on us. Plus, Andrew works really weird hours nowadays. No offense, buddy.
Do you have your facepaint ready? Your cheese puffs? Your beer? Your jersey? Your spot on the couch? Let's play some football. It's time to be immortal.
--AZ
After what was one of the most controversial seasons yet, the NFL is finally entering the playoffs, and we're seeing a lot of familiar faces once again.
Grant it, we saw a lot of suspensions, people "partying a bit too hard," and the inevitable "Black Monday" when your smartphone blows up about coaches and other front office personnel getting fired--or in one case, going back to college. Some of these things are what we have come to expect year in and year out; however, the players in which these circumstances have affected is what makes it even more shocking.
Are we ready to go? Let's check out who we're going to be seeing this January in the NFL Playoffs on the road to Super Bowl XLIX.
______
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division - New England Patriots (12-4) - Been there a million times, done that a million times. It goes without saying that the Patriots are always bound to be a threat in the AFC. The Brady-Gronk one-two punch is an infamous offensive force, and the defense has been as strong as ever. It's going to start getting colder at Gillette, so hits will be harder. The best thing to do is protect Brady, and we could see these guys in the Super Bowl once again.
(Destination: Naptime - First Round Bye with Home Advantage)
North Division - Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5) - You know, I honestly didn't think they'd have it in them this year. A team that was once infamous for the run about ten years ago, you're seeing much more action coming from the pocket by Ben Roethlisberger, who is having the season of his career. A James Harrison-led defense is also seeing an awakening as well. While they aren't as consistent, it's still enough to hold off the opposition. Where the team will go will depend on the defense showing up or not.
(Destination: Baltimore Ravens, Saturday 8:15 EST) (Uh Oh...)
South Division - Indianapolis Colts (11-5) - In case you didn't know this by now, Andrew Luck is awesome, and almost everything he touches turns to gold and says: "We don't love Manning here anymore." I know I constantly bring up Peyton here, but knowing that there is another guy with another squad who is playing some absolutely scrappy ball here is a great sign. Plus, the defense and special teams are holding up their end of the bargain here too. Again, the biggest issue here this time around is going to be health and nerves. Now is not the time to choke and go home after one game, you guys.
(Destination: Cincinnati Bengals, Sunday 1:05 EST)
West Division - Denver Broncos (12-4) - Peyton didn't exactly end the season the way he liked--in fact, he was taking a shellacking for a while there. However, the team is still strong enough on all ends to deliver a shellacking of their own. This alone is a sign; it doesn't take one guy to win games, there is no "I" in team. Because of that formula, we're going to see other people come in, especially on the defense, that will step up and surprise the heck out of audiences. The road will be a rocky one, but this isn't anything Denver hasn't seen before.
(Destination: Siesta - First Round Bye)
AFC Wild Card
Oh look... The AFC North is having a huge party and didn't think to invite Johnny Manziel and the Browns. RIMSHOT!
Cincinnati Bengals (10-5-1) - This team may be the biggest worry in the case of a one-and-out in the playoffs. A lot of players are hurt, and most of them are key players on offense. Sure, Jeremy Hill has been a one-man-mafia for the past several weeks and is really making the rush offense look superb, but the rest of the team doesn't look too hot. The defense can hold up the run for the most part, but let's not set the expectations too high here.
(Destination: Indianapolis Colts, Sunday 1:05 EST)
Baltimore Ravens (10-6) - It's funny, but with all of the hubbub going on about other quarterbacks in the NFL, it's almost as if Joe Flacco is flying under the radar and being a silent killer of sorts. He's been strong, the run has been really strong too, and the defense has been really great too, despite all of the controversy that has been surrounding the team and its players since the very beginning of the NFL season. It's like they're being avoided on TV at all costs just to make them look bad. Well, they know about that, and they're out for attention.
(Destination: Pittsburgh Steelers, Saturday 8:15 EST) (Yikes)
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division - Dallas Cowboys (12-4) - This year, the Cowboys are the epitome of the term "taking the ball and running with it." This doesn't mean I'm taking away from the likes of Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, and Jason Witten, who have all been fantastic in their own right this year. The undisputed star of the team this year has been DeMarco Murray, who has been running all over defenses without much of a problem. Knowing that you have an all-out offensive threat from what people still consider to be "America's Team" means that your defense better be healthy for your hot date.
(Destination: Detroit Lions, Sunday 4:40 EST)
North Division - Green Bay Packers (12-4) - Okay, how many of you screamed bloody murder when Rodgers went down in Week 17 prior to a touchdown pass? If you were a Packers fan, you may have done just that. He may be the strongest name and possibly the biggest threat on the team, but don't discount the fact that the defense can pick up the slack and stop the pass when need be. It's almost like the whole entire team gets overshadowed, especially when you're an outsider to it all. Don't let the Aaron Rodgers hype fool you; we have a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing in this town.
(Destination: Couch - First Round Bye)
South Division - Carolina Panthers (7-8-1) - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the "WTF Division," where it is perfectly fine to go to the playoffs with a sub-.500 record. This isn't to say that the Panthers didn't earn their spot, per se. They had a really shaky season in the realm of injury and the like, but former 1st round pick Cam Newton hasn't really lost his touch. Actually, it gets quite annoying when he's referred to as the "next Michael Vick," because he's his own guy. I digress. They will certainly have to play to their strengths from here on out and prove that regular season records mean nothing in the playoffs.
(Destination: Arizona Cardinals, Saturday 4:35 EST)
West Division - Seattle Seahawks (12-4) - People were rather scared about this team at first. You'd hear: "Oh, these guys are returning champs! Things don't look too good for them," throughout the first half of the season. However, with a second half surge and a wake-up from The 12th Man, the boys are back, and they look like just as much of a threat as they have been for the past several years. Wilson and Skittles Lynch are continuing strong, and the defense says there is no such thing as the pass. No, really. This team is disgusting.
(Destination: Pillow and Blanky - First Round Bye with Home Advantage)
NFC Wild Card
Detroit Lions (11-5) - For the past several seasons, the biggest strength of the Lions has been in the defense. However, a thorn in that side of the strength has been health and, well... temper. A previous story stated that Ndamukong Suh was nearly suspended from play after "deliberately" stepping on Aaron Rodgers' leg during a recent game, but Suh's appeal was won. So there... The defense is set. Is the offense? Surprisingly enough, they've been able to hold their own. Shock and momentum and atmosphere is going to be a key for them. Stafford has to stay calm and steady.
(Destination: Dallas Cowboys, Sunday 4:40 EST)
Arizona Cardinals (11-5) - Arizona had a crazy first half run. The defense was nearly unstoppable, and Carson Palmer was working magic wherever he threw. However, the team started to deal with excessive injury, and the wheels nearly fell off. Oh, who am I kidding? They did, but with the way the Division looked, they could easily hobble up to the finish line without looking back for people catching up. There are a lot of questionable players going into their game on Saturday, so expect a kitchen sink thrown from all participants.
(Destination: Carolina Panthers, Saturday 4:35 EST)
_____________________________________________
It looks like 2015 is already off to an insane start for everybody. We won't be out of the woods on this one for a whole month, so buckle up and get ready for some hard hits and late-game theatrics. I wouldn't be surprised to see a couple of upsets along the way, because while there is a lot of star power on certain teams, the atmosphere is going to be completely different, and if you want to be engraved on the wall of immortals in the NFL, you have to throw everything you did in the season out the window. This is a new slate, and there is a new set of tasks to perform.
Because of work scheduling, there won't be any predictions this year for the playoffs except for the NFC and AFC Championships on Tumblr. I hate to say this, but time really crept up on us. Plus, Andrew works really weird hours nowadays. No offense, buddy.
Do you have your facepaint ready? Your cheese puffs? Your beer? Your jersey? Your spot on the couch? Let's play some football. It's time to be immortal.
--AZ
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Painkillerkillerkillers
There's a pretty good chance I've already written about some form of addiction in this blog already, but since you need to have short-term memory in the media field (or at least assume that your audience does), let's write about some more drug things. Wait...what was I talking about again?
It's commonplace that on every job application, it will be stated that you could be subjected to random drug tests. I've worked many jobs in retail and in food, and I have yet to be drug tested; then again, why would I have to take one if I am in good standing with the company that I work for, and that I don't do any extremely heavy lifting? But on the other side of the coin, when there are suspicions, they wouldn't really be random now, are they?
You see, in certain job fields that require hard labor and physicality, this "off the wall" job application note will actually happen, and they will certainly be random. This was proven on Sunday when not one, not two, not even three or four, but FIVE NFL teams were subjected to investigation by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). According to reports, it doesn't exactly seem like the friendliest welcome by these guys, either. The five teams (the Lions, Bengals, 49ers, Seahawks, and Buccaneers) and their respective medical staffs were greeted at the airports and later interrogated and subjected to bag checks. Reports also go on saying that these five teams were chosen because they were playing on the road. It doesn't make the most of sense in the world, but I guess we'll roll with that for the time being.
By watching a lot of media outlets over the past 24 hours, most notably ESPN and ABC News, they made it sound like this is an issue that just spurt from the loins of Hades. However, this isn't the case, as a very large number of former NFL players have stepped forward in the past six months and claimed that they were given large amounts of pain medication to cut the edge and keep playing on. If you've ever heard of the video game Blitz: The League or have heard of the short-lived ESPN series called Playmakers, it's the personal lives of football players and their temptations (and possible needs to medicate) on a realistic level. It's quite insane, when you sit down to think about it. It's insane for several reasons: (1) It blurs your perception of how well teams take care of their players, (2) It worries you on how "well" the player is physically as well as "upstairs," and (3) This has been going on for a really freaking long time.
It has gone on record from many athletes (especially those in the pro wrestling business) stating that they have had ongoing issues with painkiller addiction. When you're dealing with medications like Vicodin or Oxycontin, which are ridiculously addictive in nature, it will come as no surprise. At a time like this, I think back to that one discussion that I had with Andrew about soccer versus football, and how he said that a football player will undergo the equivalent of sixteen car crashes in a game based on the high-impact play. Players might not have any significant injuries after each game, but they're certainly sore afterward, regardless of how conditioned they may be. In my best shape, I would be practically dead the day after a soccer tournament, and at a point, I had a few of them per season. It wasn't to the degree of these players, of course; I was only trying to make a point. The quickest way to cut the edge off of soreness is to pop a Tylenol or Advil or whatever kind of pill you can buy at your local pharmacy. However, that could become a growing habit, and you can take them just to take them and not feel any pain, plus feeling the "sensations" that it brings along with it. Rest doesn't exist during a professional sports season, no matter whether there's a break or a bye week or what have you. You're in it for the long haul, or you're considered "disabled" or "physically unable to perform."
Grant it, it's good that the DEA is cracking down on these allegations, but on the other hand, I sort of want to shake my finger at the news outlets for making this a bigger deal than it really is. Did it cause a big scene at airports? Most likely. Does this mean that everybody in the NFL is in trouble? Not really. Sure, there may be a few players that could get caught; that remains to be seen. But this is a good indicator that there are staff members out there that are beginning to care for the players long before they leave the league. It has already begun with evaluating players for concussions. It is now being broken down more into "lesser pains," for the lack of a better term, and the psychological effects that stem from that as well, which in this case is addiction.
The key word that I had mentioned above is "beginning." You see, the DEA has been hovering around the NFL for several years, telling doctors and medical staff members what they can and cannot administer to players; then again, they pretty much do that with every sports organization, but I digress. This is the biggest crackdown so far, but even though it doesn't seem like there are any guilty parties in the matter (regardless of compliance), it's a step in the right direction. Players are pushed to their limits in more ways than one, and when the human body isn't given the right time to heal, more harm will be done than good. Now you'll not only have the physical problems, but the psychological problems as well. It's either nipped in the bud now, or you'll have a truckload of misery later.
Privacy is a good thing, but when there are people out there that are concerned about the health of their performers, there's a reason to be concerned and serious on the matter. I do feel bad for the organizations that have full innocence, but you know what they say...one bad apple can ruin the whole bunch.
--AZ
(The article used for reference can be found here. Thanks for the fuel to my flame once again, ESPN!)
Because I can't begin this without that crazy drum intro from Scott Travis and then Rob Halford's leather-wearing vocals.
It's commonplace that on every job application, it will be stated that you could be subjected to random drug tests. I've worked many jobs in retail and in food, and I have yet to be drug tested; then again, why would I have to take one if I am in good standing with the company that I work for, and that I don't do any extremely heavy lifting? But on the other side of the coin, when there are suspicions, they wouldn't really be random now, are they?
You see, in certain job fields that require hard labor and physicality, this "off the wall" job application note will actually happen, and they will certainly be random. This was proven on Sunday when not one, not two, not even three or four, but FIVE NFL teams were subjected to investigation by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). According to reports, it doesn't exactly seem like the friendliest welcome by these guys, either. The five teams (the Lions, Bengals, 49ers, Seahawks, and Buccaneers) and their respective medical staffs were greeted at the airports and later interrogated and subjected to bag checks. Reports also go on saying that these five teams were chosen because they were playing on the road. It doesn't make the most of sense in the world, but I guess we'll roll with that for the time being.
By watching a lot of media outlets over the past 24 hours, most notably ESPN and ABC News, they made it sound like this is an issue that just spurt from the loins of Hades. However, this isn't the case, as a very large number of former NFL players have stepped forward in the past six months and claimed that they were given large amounts of pain medication to cut the edge and keep playing on. If you've ever heard of the video game Blitz: The League or have heard of the short-lived ESPN series called Playmakers, it's the personal lives of football players and their temptations (and possible needs to medicate) on a realistic level. It's quite insane, when you sit down to think about it. It's insane for several reasons: (1) It blurs your perception of how well teams take care of their players, (2) It worries you on how "well" the player is physically as well as "upstairs," and (3) This has been going on for a really freaking long time.
It has gone on record from many athletes (especially those in the pro wrestling business) stating that they have had ongoing issues with painkiller addiction. When you're dealing with medications like Vicodin or Oxycontin, which are ridiculously addictive in nature, it will come as no surprise. At a time like this, I think back to that one discussion that I had with Andrew about soccer versus football, and how he said that a football player will undergo the equivalent of sixteen car crashes in a game based on the high-impact play. Players might not have any significant injuries after each game, but they're certainly sore afterward, regardless of how conditioned they may be. In my best shape, I would be practically dead the day after a soccer tournament, and at a point, I had a few of them per season. It wasn't to the degree of these players, of course; I was only trying to make a point. The quickest way to cut the edge off of soreness is to pop a Tylenol or Advil or whatever kind of pill you can buy at your local pharmacy. However, that could become a growing habit, and you can take them just to take them and not feel any pain, plus feeling the "sensations" that it brings along with it. Rest doesn't exist during a professional sports season, no matter whether there's a break or a bye week or what have you. You're in it for the long haul, or you're considered "disabled" or "physically unable to perform."
Grant it, it's good that the DEA is cracking down on these allegations, but on the other hand, I sort of want to shake my finger at the news outlets for making this a bigger deal than it really is. Did it cause a big scene at airports? Most likely. Does this mean that everybody in the NFL is in trouble? Not really. Sure, there may be a few players that could get caught; that remains to be seen. But this is a good indicator that there are staff members out there that are beginning to care for the players long before they leave the league. It has already begun with evaluating players for concussions. It is now being broken down more into "lesser pains," for the lack of a better term, and the psychological effects that stem from that as well, which in this case is addiction.
The key word that I had mentioned above is "beginning." You see, the DEA has been hovering around the NFL for several years, telling doctors and medical staff members what they can and cannot administer to players; then again, they pretty much do that with every sports organization, but I digress. This is the biggest crackdown so far, but even though it doesn't seem like there are any guilty parties in the matter (regardless of compliance), it's a step in the right direction. Players are pushed to their limits in more ways than one, and when the human body isn't given the right time to heal, more harm will be done than good. Now you'll not only have the physical problems, but the psychological problems as well. It's either nipped in the bud now, or you'll have a truckload of misery later.
Privacy is a good thing, but when there are people out there that are concerned about the health of their performers, there's a reason to be concerned and serious on the matter. I do feel bad for the organizations that have full innocence, but you know what they say...one bad apple can ruin the whole bunch.
--AZ
(The article used for reference can be found here. Thanks for the fuel to my flame once again, ESPN!)
Friday, October 31, 2014
The NFL Midseason Slant for 2014-2015 - Trainwreck Drama
F'real...there's enough stuff that happened within the first three weeks of the NFL season that could develop a good three or four seasons of a midday drama that would be canceled by FOX after just four episodes.
Good heavens, the year keeps going faster and faster. I remember standing at work on the Sunday of Week 1 going: "Where is every--oh wait, it's Sunday" about two months ago, but it actually felt like I only said that two weeks ago instead. But they do say that time flies when you're having fun, am I right?
In talking about all of the things that happened, we've seen suspensions, controversies, changes in coaching, and a lot of shifting of the team leaders. While the last thing I mentioned isn't any cause for panic, the stuff before that definitely through a boatload of flies into a tiny jar of ointment, and it was PRETTY DARNED GROSS.
It's about high time that I was honest about a few things. It looked like I missed a huge opportunity in writing about the domestic abuse issues that occurred in the NFL throughout August and September. However, the meat of the stuff unfolded while I was in Los Angeles for a week on vacation, and I had no intention of writing. I researched stuff, but I didn't write. I could have went on and on and on about the domestic abuse stuff that went on during this NFL season, but I refrained from it for one specific reason: It was shoved down everybody's throats enough. My opinion would not have mattered, as it would have gotten lost in the mix of media oblivion. Besides, this would have turned into a political blog in the process, and that isn't the point here. It's another issue that broke out in massive puberty pimples and got progressively worse because the human race hasn't seemingly progressed since the women's rights movement nearly 100 years ago. I digress.
Anyway... Let's take a look at what's been going on along the gridiron. That's the real reason why we're here, right?
(NOTE: These standings are as of Week 9. This does not include the results of the Saints/Panthers game that occurred on Thursday night.)
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division
New England Patriots (6-2) - After what seemed like this season would be laughable for the Pats, things have certainly kicked into fourth gear. After each defeat, they seem to bounce back and practically kill the team in the following week. They're sleeping giants, that's for sure, and when you have the Brady/Gronk combo, things could be ugly for the opposition.
Buffalo Bills (5-3) - Hey hey! I'm not used to seeing this. However, there seems to be trouble in paradise in the running back department as far as injury. Plus, Kyle Orton has had a bit of an issue adjusting to his new squad. But don't fret, we're seeing one of the stronger defenses in the AFC, and with a stronger lineup toward the end of the season, they will certainly be tested. I'd love to see them make it a little further than usual.
Miami Dolphins (4-3) - The Dolphins have a very underrated defense, especially when they've rocked against some of the strongest offensive teams so far. The offense may have issues in catching up, but if they stay steady against some average defenses coming up, it should be enough of a momentum boost for the weeks to come.
New York Jets (1-6) - You cannot blame Mark Sanchez on this crap this year. The only strong point is their defense; the rest of them have been absolutely weak. Geno Smith's welcome has been rotted out, and the special teams is ridiculous to the max. Are we seeing the end of the Rex Ryan era? Most likely.
North Division
Cincinnati Bengals (4-2-1) - Oh my God, I hate this tie business, you guys. Anyway, I would have thought that with Marvin Lewis at the helm, we might see a stronger defense, but it looks like I'm wrong here. Anyway, Andy Dalton is having a field day at his position with loads of eligible (and effective) receiving. Things can only get better from here in that department.
Baltimore Ravens (5-3) - There is no doubt in my mind that Joe Flacco is making incredibly strong outings this year. Each loss has been a hard one so far (they never figured out Cincy), and if those are thrown to the side, we could see real contenders on this end from here on out. The one thorn in their side could be the pass rush, as the next few games feature powerhouse QB's. However, the rest should be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
Pittsburgh Steelers (5-3) - They've certainly made a statement in this past week that they can still roll on with the squad they have. However, you can certainly tell that this is barely half the team that it once was nearly a decade ago. The defense is far from an steel curtain, but Mr. Ben Roethlisberger wants you to forget that with this power in the pocket. Their schedule doesn't look too shabby either. The Steelers can make teams mighty nervous after this.
Cleveland Browns (4-3) - Fact: Cleveland never catches a break--ever. Brian Hoyer and company have had a lot of luck going into the halfway point of the season, as many of their games have been close and down to the wire. Special teams have been their greatest strength for sure. The only problem is their issues against the run. If nobody runs hog wild on them, we could see a really close race in the AFC North.
South Division
Indianapolis Colts (5-3) - I can officially say "Peyton who?" Andrew Luck is certainly proving his worth as a #1 pick quarterback, especially with his efficiency in the pocket. The defense leaves much to be desired, but when you have a stellar quarterback and two strong running backs in Trent Richardson and Ahmad Bradshaw, you can't go wrong.
Houston Texans (4-4) - A hard-hitting defense and another great season from Arian Foster is keeping the Texans afloat for the most part. However, both sides can be inconsistent, and Fitzpatrick at the lead in QB isn't exactly the strongest thing in the world--especially after his woes in Buffalo. However, their bye is approaching soon. It could be the recharge they need to make a run for the South title.
Tennessee Titans (2-6) - There's a lot on this team that leaves much to be desired. You can easily tell that this is a time for rebuilding. The injury bug has really stalled this period too, as many people were out of action early on in the season. As long as the crew keeps healthy, they should be able to recover. However, it may be too little, too late.
Jacksonville Jaguars (1-7) - I could say this and end it here: "No shock. Moving along..." But I won't do that here. This whole organization is in desperate need of repair and it doesn't look like there's any sort of relief in sight. With the one little shining moment in their victory against the Browns in Week 7, their endless injuries and the lack of hope in management is a recipe for a poor end to the season. Godspeed, Jags.
West Division
Denver Broncos (6-1) - Weed is not a performance enhancer. But when you have an offense led by record-breaker Peyton Manning, you really don't need much else, now do you? While they have had problems here and there with the rush, the tone set by the rest of the team is more than enough to take them to another Super Bowl.
San Diego Chargers (5-3) - These guys are in the thick of it once again by being scrappy and relentless on offense. Philip Rivers is an underrated quarterback with numerous options, and to be honest, that is the go-to due to a slight weakness on the rush. Throw in a defense that kills on pass yardage and you've got a good chance to see the Bolts play more in January.
Kansas City Chiefs (4-3) - Sorry, guys, people are still hung over after their heartbreaking defeat in the World Series. However, there might not be the same amount of heartbreak this year. They're more or less "pacing themselves" this year (obviously), and it is evident in an offense that is slowly gaining a stride. The defense is about as strong as they were last year, and that's a good sign as well.
Oakland Raiders (0-7) - Remember what I almost said about Jacksonville above? I could do that here too, but no. If there is one franchise that needs an even bigger fixing, this is the winner. All routes of failure are breaking the laws of science and possibly destroying the Black Hole in Oakland. When one side is strong, the other side seemingly sucks, and lack of synchronicity definitely shows here.
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division
Dallas Cowboys (6-2) - They looked scary up until this week. The biggest shining diamond on this team has been, without a doubt, DeMarco Murray. Blowing by defenses has been his forte, and with the skeptics still being skeptical about Tony Romo's overall ability, all systems have been go for the Cowboys making a good run this season.
Philadelphia Eagles (5-2) - In what is a different scene on the team this year, it appears that the defense is doing extremely well while Nick Foles and LeSean McCoy aren't producing the same kind of results that they were last year. However, this could change. The new addition in Darren Sproles has worked for them, and a team getting used to speedy possession is working in small steps. Could we see a Super Bowl in the cards for them this year?
New York Giants (3-4) - I won't lie, these guys looked like crap in so many ways in the first half of the season. Don't get me wrong, there were some great moments, but the inconsistency is such an eyesore. Plus, a loss in Victor Cruz isn't exactly the best thing to happen to the team's morale. Their woes on both ends could continue for the second half of the season.
Washington Redskins (3-5) - Sooooo... RG3 is gone again. However, this doesn't mean that second stringer Kirk Cousins is going to be flimsy. Not everything is going right in this area, especially with the team name and such. In a very heated division, with a difficult schedule in the second half, things might just go downhill for the people in DC.
North Division
Detroit Lions (6-2) - Holy crap, Golden Tate. Oh, and holy crap, defense. The Lions look like true contenders all across the board in the NFC. The offense might be shaky at times, especially with injuries and problems with the run, but as long as the defense stays healthy, we could see some fireworks.
Green Bay Packers (5-3) - Their defense totally sucks with the run, but it's clear that we have Aaron Rodgers being Aaron Rodgers, and the offense is totally making up for the suffering on the other side of the ball. Eddy Lacy and the others on the receiving end are totally turning it up for the team, and this should be able to help them drive into late January.
Chicago Bears (3-5) - Jay Cutler and company aren't exactly having a terrible year, per se, but it could be much worse. The defense has had struggles as of late, and there have been tough breaks all throughout the season so far on offense. Their latest lashing against New England didn't help them very much. With divisional games to end out their season, it's all or nothing.
Minnesota Vikings (3-5) - When the Vikings want to score, they most certainly will. However, that's about it. The defense can only handle so much, and without Adrian Peterson to help them out on offense, things have been incredibly inconsistent.
South Division
(Ladies and gentlemen, this is my fifth NFL Midseason Slant. In my time writing in this blog, I have never seen a division that was as toilet-worthy as this. What the actual flip.)
Carolina Panthers (3-4-1) - Injuries have really plagued this team, and to be honest, the stats on these guys really don't show how much effort these guys are putting into every game. Cam Newton is still a heck of a quarterback, being dual in the run and pass. Too bad that there are times in which he doesn't have an option, and the defenses have a difficult time adjusting to plays from the opposition. Again, they look decent on paper, but sometimes that makes no difference.
New Orleans Saints (3-4) - When you have a strong offense, you tend to want to point the finger at the defense and special teams. This isn't the case, believe it or not. A lot of it is coming up short and not being able to capitalize on opportunity. Games that should have been won weren't, and except for one or two games, the Saints look like they can't be contenders. But in a division like this, anything is possible. Just...stay healthy, offense. Keep doing what you're doing.
Atlanta Falcons (2-6) - How? You have a relatively good offense with a slough of talent in QB and in wide receivers, but they can struggle. Plus, blowing leads have been the name of the game for the Falcons, and with a very hole-y defense, this record is expected for a team that almost seemingly lets opportunities go once the second half rolls around. The second half is their redemption time.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-6) - Professional football in the state of Florida (save Miami) makes me sad. I put up with this crap last year when both the Bucs and Jags were 0-8, and it almost seems like a return to Los Angeles may be imminent. Statistically, they have one of the weakest defenses in the NFL, and they have such an inability to move up the field. Things can only get worse from here.
West Division
Arizona Cardinals (6-1) - Everything really seems to be working here in 'Zona. The big story here is the fact that they can make huge plays, capitalize on mistakes, and come in the clutch. A team that stays hot in that area can't burn out very easily. Carson Palmer has numerous options in the pocket. Defenses are making the run look stupid, and a lot of the teams they have faced as of late specialize in it. Looks to be the same way for the future. This should be fun.
San Francisco 49ers (4-3) - It's the same old story with the defense, which isn't a bad thing. The only problem with Frisco is their options on offense, almost like Kaepernick has a problem with seeing the field and making clear plays. Once the team gets back to form in the health sector, we could see a good second half surge from these guys.
Seattle Seahawks (4-3) - Yes, they won the Super Bowl last season. So what? The offense isn't making as many big plays as they did last year (which, in fact, they were golden in that area last year), but that isn't necessarily a reason for alarm. If they can still roll with the tough customers, they shouldn't have any problems keeping a lead and fighting back. Hey, 12th man, they might need you even more this year to keep the reputation.
St. Louis Rams (2-5) - The struggles seemingly continue for these guys. Their season hasn't been a complete disaster--they've kept up with a lot of contending teams, but it seems like what they do isn't exactly enough. So don't let stats and standings fool you. They're just rather unlucky with where they are right now. If there's one team that can play a spoiler from here on out, the Rams could be the kings of this area.
--
Well, we're halfway there (maybe living on a prayer) but we've yet to see the best from these teams in the NFL. Hopefully there won't be any more ridiculous media events for the next two months--especially involving couples costumes of Ray Rice and his wife. Again, I could go on forever about this stuff.
I'll see y'all in this area NEXT YEAR...which at this rate, will be in about a week and a half. Ha ha ha
The times, they are a'changing...unless you're the New England Patriots.
--AZ
Good heavens, the year keeps going faster and faster. I remember standing at work on the Sunday of Week 1 going: "Where is every--oh wait, it's Sunday" about two months ago, but it actually felt like I only said that two weeks ago instead. But they do say that time flies when you're having fun, am I right?
In talking about all of the things that happened, we've seen suspensions, controversies, changes in coaching, and a lot of shifting of the team leaders. While the last thing I mentioned isn't any cause for panic, the stuff before that definitely through a boatload of flies into a tiny jar of ointment, and it was PRETTY DARNED GROSS.
.jpg) |
| LOOK AT THIS. LOOK. AT. THIS. TERRIFYINGLY GROSS. |
Anyway... Let's take a look at what's been going on along the gridiron. That's the real reason why we're here, right?
NFL MIDSEASON SLANT
(NOTE: These standings are as of Week 9. This does not include the results of the Saints/Panthers game that occurred on Thursday night.)
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division
New England Patriots (6-2) - After what seemed like this season would be laughable for the Pats, things have certainly kicked into fourth gear. After each defeat, they seem to bounce back and practically kill the team in the following week. They're sleeping giants, that's for sure, and when you have the Brady/Gronk combo, things could be ugly for the opposition.
Buffalo Bills (5-3) - Hey hey! I'm not used to seeing this. However, there seems to be trouble in paradise in the running back department as far as injury. Plus, Kyle Orton has had a bit of an issue adjusting to his new squad. But don't fret, we're seeing one of the stronger defenses in the AFC, and with a stronger lineup toward the end of the season, they will certainly be tested. I'd love to see them make it a little further than usual.
Miami Dolphins (4-3) - The Dolphins have a very underrated defense, especially when they've rocked against some of the strongest offensive teams so far. The offense may have issues in catching up, but if they stay steady against some average defenses coming up, it should be enough of a momentum boost for the weeks to come.
New York Jets (1-6) - You cannot blame Mark Sanchez on this crap this year. The only strong point is their defense; the rest of them have been absolutely weak. Geno Smith's welcome has been rotted out, and the special teams is ridiculous to the max. Are we seeing the end of the Rex Ryan era? Most likely.
North Division
Cincinnati Bengals (4-2-1) - Oh my God, I hate this tie business, you guys. Anyway, I would have thought that with Marvin Lewis at the helm, we might see a stronger defense, but it looks like I'm wrong here. Anyway, Andy Dalton is having a field day at his position with loads of eligible (and effective) receiving. Things can only get better from here in that department.
Baltimore Ravens (5-3) - There is no doubt in my mind that Joe Flacco is making incredibly strong outings this year. Each loss has been a hard one so far (they never figured out Cincy), and if those are thrown to the side, we could see real contenders on this end from here on out. The one thorn in their side could be the pass rush, as the next few games feature powerhouse QB's. However, the rest should be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
Pittsburgh Steelers (5-3) - They've certainly made a statement in this past week that they can still roll on with the squad they have. However, you can certainly tell that this is barely half the team that it once was nearly a decade ago. The defense is far from an steel curtain, but Mr. Ben Roethlisberger wants you to forget that with this power in the pocket. Their schedule doesn't look too shabby either. The Steelers can make teams mighty nervous after this.
Cleveland Browns (4-3) - Fact: Cleveland never catches a break--ever. Brian Hoyer and company have had a lot of luck going into the halfway point of the season, as many of their games have been close and down to the wire. Special teams have been their greatest strength for sure. The only problem is their issues against the run. If nobody runs hog wild on them, we could see a really close race in the AFC North.
South Division
Indianapolis Colts (5-3) - I can officially say "Peyton who?" Andrew Luck is certainly proving his worth as a #1 pick quarterback, especially with his efficiency in the pocket. The defense leaves much to be desired, but when you have a stellar quarterback and two strong running backs in Trent Richardson and Ahmad Bradshaw, you can't go wrong.
Houston Texans (4-4) - A hard-hitting defense and another great season from Arian Foster is keeping the Texans afloat for the most part. However, both sides can be inconsistent, and Fitzpatrick at the lead in QB isn't exactly the strongest thing in the world--especially after his woes in Buffalo. However, their bye is approaching soon. It could be the recharge they need to make a run for the South title.
Tennessee Titans (2-6) - There's a lot on this team that leaves much to be desired. You can easily tell that this is a time for rebuilding. The injury bug has really stalled this period too, as many people were out of action early on in the season. As long as the crew keeps healthy, they should be able to recover. However, it may be too little, too late.
Jacksonville Jaguars (1-7) - I could say this and end it here: "No shock. Moving along..." But I won't do that here. This whole organization is in desperate need of repair and it doesn't look like there's any sort of relief in sight. With the one little shining moment in their victory against the Browns in Week 7, their endless injuries and the lack of hope in management is a recipe for a poor end to the season. Godspeed, Jags.
West Division
Denver Broncos (6-1) - Weed is not a performance enhancer. But when you have an offense led by record-breaker Peyton Manning, you really don't need much else, now do you? While they have had problems here and there with the rush, the tone set by the rest of the team is more than enough to take them to another Super Bowl.
San Diego Chargers (5-3) - These guys are in the thick of it once again by being scrappy and relentless on offense. Philip Rivers is an underrated quarterback with numerous options, and to be honest, that is the go-to due to a slight weakness on the rush. Throw in a defense that kills on pass yardage and you've got a good chance to see the Bolts play more in January.
Kansas City Chiefs (4-3) - Sorry, guys, people are still hung over after their heartbreaking defeat in the World Series. However, there might not be the same amount of heartbreak this year. They're more or less "pacing themselves" this year (obviously), and it is evident in an offense that is slowly gaining a stride. The defense is about as strong as they were last year, and that's a good sign as well.
Oakland Raiders (0-7) - Remember what I almost said about Jacksonville above? I could do that here too, but no. If there is one franchise that needs an even bigger fixing, this is the winner. All routes of failure are breaking the laws of science and possibly destroying the Black Hole in Oakland. When one side is strong, the other side seemingly sucks, and lack of synchronicity definitely shows here.
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
East Division
Dallas Cowboys (6-2) - They looked scary up until this week. The biggest shining diamond on this team has been, without a doubt, DeMarco Murray. Blowing by defenses has been his forte, and with the skeptics still being skeptical about Tony Romo's overall ability, all systems have been go for the Cowboys making a good run this season.
Philadelphia Eagles (5-2) - In what is a different scene on the team this year, it appears that the defense is doing extremely well while Nick Foles and LeSean McCoy aren't producing the same kind of results that they were last year. However, this could change. The new addition in Darren Sproles has worked for them, and a team getting used to speedy possession is working in small steps. Could we see a Super Bowl in the cards for them this year?
New York Giants (3-4) - I won't lie, these guys looked like crap in so many ways in the first half of the season. Don't get me wrong, there were some great moments, but the inconsistency is such an eyesore. Plus, a loss in Victor Cruz isn't exactly the best thing to happen to the team's morale. Their woes on both ends could continue for the second half of the season.
Washington Redskins (3-5) - Sooooo... RG3 is gone again. However, this doesn't mean that second stringer Kirk Cousins is going to be flimsy. Not everything is going right in this area, especially with the team name and such. In a very heated division, with a difficult schedule in the second half, things might just go downhill for the people in DC.
North Division
Detroit Lions (6-2) - Holy crap, Golden Tate. Oh, and holy crap, defense. The Lions look like true contenders all across the board in the NFC. The offense might be shaky at times, especially with injuries and problems with the run, but as long as the defense stays healthy, we could see some fireworks.
Green Bay Packers (5-3) - Their defense totally sucks with the run, but it's clear that we have Aaron Rodgers being Aaron Rodgers, and the offense is totally making up for the suffering on the other side of the ball. Eddy Lacy and the others on the receiving end are totally turning it up for the team, and this should be able to help them drive into late January.
Chicago Bears (3-5) - Jay Cutler and company aren't exactly having a terrible year, per se, but it could be much worse. The defense has had struggles as of late, and there have been tough breaks all throughout the season so far on offense. Their latest lashing against New England didn't help them very much. With divisional games to end out their season, it's all or nothing.
Minnesota Vikings (3-5) - When the Vikings want to score, they most certainly will. However, that's about it. The defense can only handle so much, and without Adrian Peterson to help them out on offense, things have been incredibly inconsistent.
South Division
(Ladies and gentlemen, this is my fifth NFL Midseason Slant. In my time writing in this blog, I have never seen a division that was as toilet-worthy as this. What the actual flip.)
Carolina Panthers (3-4-1) - Injuries have really plagued this team, and to be honest, the stats on these guys really don't show how much effort these guys are putting into every game. Cam Newton is still a heck of a quarterback, being dual in the run and pass. Too bad that there are times in which he doesn't have an option, and the defenses have a difficult time adjusting to plays from the opposition. Again, they look decent on paper, but sometimes that makes no difference.
New Orleans Saints (3-4) - When you have a strong offense, you tend to want to point the finger at the defense and special teams. This isn't the case, believe it or not. A lot of it is coming up short and not being able to capitalize on opportunity. Games that should have been won weren't, and except for one or two games, the Saints look like they can't be contenders. But in a division like this, anything is possible. Just...stay healthy, offense. Keep doing what you're doing.
Atlanta Falcons (2-6) - How? You have a relatively good offense with a slough of talent in QB and in wide receivers, but they can struggle. Plus, blowing leads have been the name of the game for the Falcons, and with a very hole-y defense, this record is expected for a team that almost seemingly lets opportunities go once the second half rolls around. The second half is their redemption time.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-6) - Professional football in the state of Florida (save Miami) makes me sad. I put up with this crap last year when both the Bucs and Jags were 0-8, and it almost seems like a return to Los Angeles may be imminent. Statistically, they have one of the weakest defenses in the NFL, and they have such an inability to move up the field. Things can only get worse from here.
West Division
Arizona Cardinals (6-1) - Everything really seems to be working here in 'Zona. The big story here is the fact that they can make huge plays, capitalize on mistakes, and come in the clutch. A team that stays hot in that area can't burn out very easily. Carson Palmer has numerous options in the pocket. Defenses are making the run look stupid, and a lot of the teams they have faced as of late specialize in it. Looks to be the same way for the future. This should be fun.
San Francisco 49ers (4-3) - It's the same old story with the defense, which isn't a bad thing. The only problem with Frisco is their options on offense, almost like Kaepernick has a problem with seeing the field and making clear plays. Once the team gets back to form in the health sector, we could see a good second half surge from these guys.
Seattle Seahawks (4-3) - Yes, they won the Super Bowl last season. So what? The offense isn't making as many big plays as they did last year (which, in fact, they were golden in that area last year), but that isn't necessarily a reason for alarm. If they can still roll with the tough customers, they shouldn't have any problems keeping a lead and fighting back. Hey, 12th man, they might need you even more this year to keep the reputation.
St. Louis Rams (2-5) - The struggles seemingly continue for these guys. Their season hasn't been a complete disaster--they've kept up with a lot of contending teams, but it seems like what they do isn't exactly enough. So don't let stats and standings fool you. They're just rather unlucky with where they are right now. If there's one team that can play a spoiler from here on out, the Rams could be the kings of this area.
--
Well, we're halfway there (maybe living on a prayer) but we've yet to see the best from these teams in the NFL. Hopefully there won't be any more ridiculous media events for the next two months--especially involving couples costumes of Ray Rice and his wife. Again, I could go on forever about this stuff.
I'll see y'all in this area NEXT YEAR...which at this rate, will be in about a week and a half. Ha ha ha
The times, they are a'changing...unless you're the New England Patriots.
--AZ
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Red Whines: Eye Candy - Behind the Bull
Major shoutout to Allison Jenkins (@AJenkins11) for sending me the article that got the wheels turning on this post. She's a pretty cool lady. And she likes the Flyers too.
Sometimes I just say things on Twitter just to say things. For instance, three years ago I did send in a video of myself to apply to be a Phillies ballgirl to no avail. Then I read Tuesday night that the Philadelphia Flyers are looking for applications for their Ice Crew, including women. I figured, "Hey, I could totally try this just to say I tried it and laugh at myself later," but I later got a response that included an article (read this article now), and then my joking demeanor turned into this face:
Like, really? Am I going to have to unload on this one too? And of course, the answer is definitely yes, because I still can't believe that there are specific standards for women when it comes to areas such as cheerleading and whatever kind of stuff that involves wearing spandex and stuff.
I knew that to be an "ice girl," you had to be fashionable in spandex similar to what a women's wrestler has to be acquainted with, and you have to deal with cold conditions. If you're a monk, that doesn't seem so bad, but when your abdomen and hands are exposed for extended periods of time, it truly isn't. In fact, according to the article, the women are not allowed to eat at all while on the job, and they cannot cover themselves up at any time. The only thing I understood was that the organization doesn't want intermingling between the women and the athletes, and that makes some sense, but to put them on borderline torture, especially if you're an "ice girl" during the Winter freaking Classic? Give me a break, people.
Because of all of the issues, organizations have been slowly adding men and/or completely doing away with the female-centered groups. Most cheerleading squads in football still remain, but I'll get to that later on. During the NHL Preseason, male ice squad members made an appearance in Philadelphia, much to the dismay (and even boos) of male spectators. Now before you start saying, "Oh, it's because Philadelphia fans are a bunch of pigs," I'm going to have to stop you there. And maybe hit you over the head with a day-old soft pretzel. This would happen anywhere. Don't make me put the Judge Judy eyeroll down here too. Because of the reception, they've opened up the ice squad application process to women again. Whether they're going to fine-tune the guidelines for them remains to be seen, but from a feminine point of view, men could just as easily pull out a smart phone and look at a woman in spandex from a Google Search app while a bunch of dudes shovel the ice. Does everyone think like me? Of course not. They don't like to use their imaginations like Barney the Dinosaur or Spongebob Squarepants taught them. I digress.
Back to the other fun stuff that the article talked about. The pay is not very good for these ladies, and they are responsible for their own hair, makeup, and supplies. Now, women are dignified pros in doing their hair and makeup in cramped up places, but the fact that they don't get decent enough pay to get to these events, on top of the fact that they have other jobs and maybe college classes outside of this? Give them a reason to stay, you guys. Sure, it's the experience of a lifetime, and you get to do charity work and participate in good causes, but it seems like the other stuff going on is less than ideal for women looking for something even more worthwhile in this job. It is a job at the end of the day, isn't it? Shouldn't there be a reward for doing a good job?
You say that I sound like a feminist right about now, but if you paid men $50 a week during the season and they needed to pay out of pocket for their own supplies, don't you think that would be a little ridiculous?
Should I get started on "jiggle tests" too? They're an alleged urban legend in the world of sports, but there are rumors all over about how a team's "eye candy" (for the lack of a better term here) must undergo "weigh-ins" among the like to keep the girls in form. True story, guys: I would fail said "jiggle test" because my thighs are too awesome for words. Plus, I also like to eat a lot. So keeping women to that standard is a bunch of malarky. It may not even exist, but would you be surprised?
In the case of cheerleaders all throughout sports, we all pretty much know that this job isn't really an ideal unless you're a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Let's be serious for a moment--they had their own reality show once upon a time. Jobs like this don't really pay; they're just about the sports equivalent of Miss America in today's environment. They may dance, they may do other acrobatics, they do a lot of smiling and charity work, but they may not always be treated the best either. As far as measures and guidelines for these ladies, they may be more refined compared to any other sport. Seeing cheerleaders or "ice girls" in hockey is still fairly new, and there may be some franchises that need "different reasons" to put rear ends in seats for games (I'm looking at you, Florida Panthers...). If you want to do things right, do things right with what you have first. I wouldn't do this for $50. Other women may disagree with me, as they may see things differently than I do.
If we keep adding on cheering squads and ice girls, things certainly have to change up a bit. The last time I checked, girls have sensitive sides to them, and they might also like to eat sometimes. Let's not treat them like circus animals, okay? Thanks.
--AZ
Sometimes I just say things on Twitter just to say things. For instance, three years ago I did send in a video of myself to apply to be a Phillies ballgirl to no avail. Then I read Tuesday night that the Philadelphia Flyers are looking for applications for their Ice Crew, including women. I figured, "Hey, I could totally try this just to say I tried it and laugh at myself later," but I later got a response that included an article (read this article now), and then my joking demeanor turned into this face:
 |
| I should have known. I should have known this whole time. |
I knew that to be an "ice girl," you had to be fashionable in spandex similar to what a women's wrestler has to be acquainted with, and you have to deal with cold conditions. If you're a monk, that doesn't seem so bad, but when your abdomen and hands are exposed for extended periods of time, it truly isn't. In fact, according to the article, the women are not allowed to eat at all while on the job, and they cannot cover themselves up at any time. The only thing I understood was that the organization doesn't want intermingling between the women and the athletes, and that makes some sense, but to put them on borderline torture, especially if you're an "ice girl" during the Winter freaking Classic? Give me a break, people.
Because of all of the issues, organizations have been slowly adding men and/or completely doing away with the female-centered groups. Most cheerleading squads in football still remain, but I'll get to that later on. During the NHL Preseason, male ice squad members made an appearance in Philadelphia, much to the dismay (and even boos) of male spectators. Now before you start saying, "Oh, it's because Philadelphia fans are a bunch of pigs," I'm going to have to stop you there. And maybe hit you over the head with a day-old soft pretzel. This would happen anywhere. Don't make me put the Judge Judy eyeroll down here too. Because of the reception, they've opened up the ice squad application process to women again. Whether they're going to fine-tune the guidelines for them remains to be seen, but from a feminine point of view, men could just as easily pull out a smart phone and look at a woman in spandex from a Google Search app while a bunch of dudes shovel the ice. Does everyone think like me? Of course not. They don't like to use their imaginations like Barney the Dinosaur or Spongebob Squarepants taught them. I digress.
Back to the other fun stuff that the article talked about. The pay is not very good for these ladies, and they are responsible for their own hair, makeup, and supplies. Now, women are dignified pros in doing their hair and makeup in cramped up places, but the fact that they don't get decent enough pay to get to these events, on top of the fact that they have other jobs and maybe college classes outside of this? Give them a reason to stay, you guys. Sure, it's the experience of a lifetime, and you get to do charity work and participate in good causes, but it seems like the other stuff going on is less than ideal for women looking for something even more worthwhile in this job. It is a job at the end of the day, isn't it? Shouldn't there be a reward for doing a good job?
You say that I sound like a feminist right about now, but if you paid men $50 a week during the season and they needed to pay out of pocket for their own supplies, don't you think that would be a little ridiculous?
Should I get started on "jiggle tests" too? They're an alleged urban legend in the world of sports, but there are rumors all over about how a team's "eye candy" (for the lack of a better term here) must undergo "weigh-ins" among the like to keep the girls in form. True story, guys: I would fail said "jiggle test" because my thighs are too awesome for words. Plus, I also like to eat a lot. So keeping women to that standard is a bunch of malarky. It may not even exist, but would you be surprised?
In the case of cheerleaders all throughout sports, we all pretty much know that this job isn't really an ideal unless you're a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Let's be serious for a moment--they had their own reality show once upon a time. Jobs like this don't really pay; they're just about the sports equivalent of Miss America in today's environment. They may dance, they may do other acrobatics, they do a lot of smiling and charity work, but they may not always be treated the best either. As far as measures and guidelines for these ladies, they may be more refined compared to any other sport. Seeing cheerleaders or "ice girls" in hockey is still fairly new, and there may be some franchises that need "different reasons" to put rear ends in seats for games (I'm looking at you, Florida Panthers...). If you want to do things right, do things right with what you have first. I wouldn't do this for $50. Other women may disagree with me, as they may see things differently than I do.
If we keep adding on cheering squads and ice girls, things certainly have to change up a bit. The last time I checked, girls have sensitive sides to them, and they might also like to eat sometimes. Let's not treat them like circus animals, okay? Thanks.
--AZ
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